


Little Hawk

by COTwild



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awesome Frigga (Marvel), Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Evil Odin (Marvel), Frigga (Marvel) Feels, Hawkfrost - Freeform, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Hurt Thor (Marvel), Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Kid Loki and Kid Thor (Marvel), Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki Gets a Hug, Loki Loves Kids, Loki's Scepter (Marvel), M/M, Mind Control, Odin (Marvel)'s A+ Parenting, Odin (Marvel)'s Bad Parenting, Parent Frigga (Marvel), Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Protective Frigga (Marvel), Protective Loki (Marvel), Super Husbands, Torture, loki is a good parent, odin is a bad grandfather, super family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:07:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 22,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23446753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/COTwild/pseuds/COTwild
Summary: After losing his family and being punished at the hands of the chitari Loki was broken. Not entirely but the parts that mattered, his mind heart and soul, were.His little hawk is constantly by his side, doing as he asked. As he wants. Trying to make his boss happy. Loki and Hawkeyes bond grows, and his control over Clint lessens.  Loki simply wants someone to listen. Someone to love him. Clint is simply conflicted. Stuck within his own mind he wants to escape and strangle Loki with his bare hands but at the same time... he wants to help the broken god. The one who lost everything. The second best. The one nobody wanted. He couldn't help but sympathize.Hawkfrost cloki? Clinki? Whatever.
Relationships: Clint Barton & Avengers Team, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton & Nick Fury, Clint Barton & Phil Coulson, Clint Barton & Phil Coulson & Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton/Loki, Frigga | Freyja & Loki & Odin & Thor (Marvel), Frigga | Freyja & Loki (Marvel), Loki & Avengers Team, Loki & Loki's Children (Marvel), Loki & Odin & Thor (Marvel), Loki & Odin (Marvel), Loki/Sigyn (Marvel), Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Thor & The Warriors Three
Comments: 42
Kudos: 181





	1. Alright

The god walked with his head held high, chin titled up slightly. No one noticed the slight tremble in his legs. The way his knuckles had turned white as he held the staff. The way his eyes darted this way and that...

No one noticed it. No one but his hawk. Said hawk watched his boss. Eyes tracking every movement. Every action. He didn't seem alright. Didn't seem stable.

"Fledgling." His boss states. Clint straightened, walking closer to his boss.

"Yes sir?" He questioned. The god of trickery watched him. Green eyes dull. Empty.

I wonder what their natural color is... Hawkeye thought. The only thing left of hisself growled. This man was controlling him. He shouldn't wonder about such idiotic concepts.

"Follow me little hawk." He mumbles, walking away from the others. Clint glanced over his shoulder, spotting selvig but turned and followed his boss.

Hawkeye quickly raced after the god, who had went down the hallway and turned into a room.

"Come little hawk." Loki purred. The god of lies was sitting on a bed, beckoning the smaller male over.

Clint moved and stood in front of the other, waiting for his next command.

"Tell me about your friends." Loki mumbles.

"Natasha?" Clint questions. The haze in his mind rising, giving him an ample amount of control. The haze returns and clint yells within his mind.

The god listens intently as the shorter male spills secret after secret, ones he was sworn to never say.

As his body continues to speak, Clint's mind watches Loki, looking for any form of weakness. Clint notes how the god shakes, how his eyes fart every once in a while. He also notices stuff he shouldn't... like how his skin was a bit to pale, how silky his black raven locks

"Sit little hawk." Loki states, patting his lap. Without hesitance Clint obeys, settling himself in the other males lap.

Loki sighed at the heat of the other male. He missed contact, no matter from who and his hawk was already an important aspect to him.

"Little hawk... what troubles have you gone through?" Loki questions, hands running along Clint's sides. He could feel the scars beneath the fabric.

"Excuse me boss?" He questioned, internally happy to stop spilling secrets.

"I can feel the scars. Not only physically, but mentally." Loki mumbles.

You see, when Loki used the scepter on clint it allowed him so see all of the hawks memories. All of his dreams and nightmares. All of his traumas. If Loki hadn't been shielding his own mind Clint, along with every other one who was under the scepters command, would've seen Loki's memories. Seen and felt his pain. No one deserved to see them.

Clint stayed quiet, watching Loki intently. Even within his own mind he was confused and curious. What did the god mean?

"Your mind. It's connected to mine fledgling." The god continued. He sighed, resting his head on Clint's shoulder.

"You've been through terrible things indeed little hawk." He mumbles.

GET OUTTA MY HEAD! Clint screamed. His memories were personal, he didn't need any psycho god rummaging Around in them.

The god laughed, it was hallow and empty.

"You think I wish to be in your mind hawk? I've been through enough pain. Enough suffering!" He shouted.

"Boss?" Hawkeye questioned, concern for the others state. Not only was it a forced action but somewhat genuine concern.

He's known his fair share of good people turned bad due to trauma. Hell he was one. Natasha was too but they were helped. Changed. Maybe, just maybe, he could help the god.

Loki sighed and lifted his head.

"You wonder little hawk." He mumbles.

"You wish to know, to understand." He hisses slightly.

"You wish for me to tell you." He adds. Hawkeye was internally grateful that he hadn't heard or noticed his other thought.

"Sir are you alright?" Clint questioned. The god laughed.

"I've never been alright!" He laughs, "would you like to know? Like to see my pain?" He questioned.

He hesitated, unsure. He was debating between his true self, the one hidden by the haze, and the other presence in his mind wether it was a good idea or not. If it'd benefit his boss.

"Yes sir." He stated. The god sighed, the mask he held up until now dropping, showing the tired pain male beneath. Something akin to fear flickered in his eyes.

Loki sighed once more before gently putting his forehead against Barton's.

"Know this little hawk, you'll feel true pain. True hurt. True anger and resentment." He mumbles before an onslaught of memories hit Hawkeye and cause him gasp.


	2. Memories

Loki sighed softly as Clint slumped against him.

Loki's mind was a labyrinth, or a puzzle if you need a better description. It was large, seemingly never ending. Some of the prices of the "puzzle" were destroyed. Some burned and others chewed upon by a metaphorical toddler. When all those memories entered Clint's mind, the stress, the power, it was to much. He passed out, dealing with the pain as he slept.

Loki knew all to well what pain he held within his memories. He lived and continues to live through the pain.

With a sigh Loki wrapped his arms around his fledgling, cradling him close to his body, similar to how frigga used to do to him after a nightmare, and carried him off towards his chambers.

Once his hawk awoke he knew he'd ask questions. He'd want answers, his true self wanting to understand the enemy to take him down. Loki knew he wouldn't win this war. He didn't want to, he simply wanted to fall. He let go of gungnir. He wanted to meet his end, his demise. He would never be enough for Odin, always hidden in Thor's shadow. He knew it and now he knew the truth. He wasn't really Odin and firggas son. He wasn't Thor's brother. He was a jotun, a horrid frost giant. He made sure to keep those memories locked up, he didn't need his hawk to fear him anymore than he already did.

He gently laid Clint down onto a bed he had created with his magic from tables and curtains, shifting the items until they were what he wanted.

He laid down besides Clint, a large amount of space between the duo. He didn't need his hawk to freeze, his normally cold body temp would suck up all of his warmth. He didn't need nor want that. He glanced to the side, watching as Clint's eyes moved this way and that under his eye lids.

Focus on what's needed. A voice hissed in his mind. He flinched at it even though is spoke the truth. He closed his eyes, sleep would restore his power.

—————————————————

It seemed like Clint was hurtling through space. The stars spoke to him. As he fell he realized that no, those weren't stars. They were memories. Hopes and dreams.

When he finally seemed to stop falling he looked around. He stood within a golden palace of an unknown world, but his mind filled in the name. Asgard.

"Come Loki!" Someone yelled. Two boys came running by. One had blond hair the other raven black, a stark contrast.

Thor his mind supplied for the blond haired boy. He instantly recognized a young Loki.

As the boys ran thor quickly turned a corner, bumping into a table and causing a vase of flowers to tilt and fall to the floor with a echoing smash.

Thor didn't stop running, ignoring the broken vase as he reached his room, the victor of the silly little race. Unlike him Loki had stopped and was attempting to clean up his brothers mess.

"What was that noise?!" A loud voice booms. Loki flinches But continues to desperately attempt to clean the vase up, using his magic to repair the porcelain.

"Loki!" A man growled, looking down at the young child with one eye.

This man was obviously Odin allfather.

"I-I'm sorry father! I-I was j-just trying to clean u-up Thor's mess!" The boy states, finally finished in putting the last piece together. He scoops up the flowers and puts them back into the Now fixed vase.

"Why do you blame your brother!? If it was thor he would've faced the consequences like a true warrior and cleans up his own mess!" Odin boomed, grabbing his smallest son by the wrist and dragging him away.

"But- but father-!" Loki tried to plead, but Odin had none of it. Odin turned and slapped Loki across the cheek, causing the little boys eyes to fill with tears.

"Now get to your room!" Odin snarled, the little boy whimpered and raced away.

Clint followed him, turning down corridors until they finally reached the royal family's sleeping chambers.

"I win brother!" Thor boasted, having not noticed Loki's tears or red cheek. Loki didn't say anything, he just rushed into his room and locked the door behind him. He huddled under his covers, sobbing silently.

He didn't understand why father never believed him. He never lied yet whenever thor did something wrong he'd be blamed.

"Loki?" Came a hesitant voice from outside his door.

"Oh do not be such a ninny!" Shouted thor, "It was just a game no need to cry over me being the victor!"

Loki just sobbed harder.

Clint watched this, angry that a father would do such a thing to his own son before he was pulled into another memory.


	3. Kitten

Clint closed his eyes as right light attacked his retinas. The air changed, it became fresher and didn't have the same smell as the palace did.

He opened his eyes and gasped slightly. He was looking at the most beautiful garden he has ever seen. Plants that he hadn't even known existed blooming with trees holding ripe apples and oranges.

Clint stumbled slightly into the sunlight.

Where was he? Why was he here?

A slightly older Loki comes walking into view, humming a soft tune. Clint watched as the small boys humming stoped as he turned and looked into a bush. His eyes widened before he looked around. No one else was in the garden and so the boy quickly scooped something up, turning and racing into the palace. Clint followed after him.

He entered the small boys room just before the door was closed and locked. Loki quickly went over to the bed and placed whatever he had gotten onto the bed.

One tiny kitten lay on the bed, it's body was a pure black. The kitten meowed softly before looking up. It's face was adorable. One half was pure what while the other was black. It got to its feet and stretched, showing off its white chest and front paws.

The kitten had one bright green eye on its black side and one black eye on its white.

"Hello there." Loki cooed, gently rubbing the kittens head. The small animal purred and pushed against his head. Loki sat in front of the bed, crossing his legs and watching the tiny baby.

"Aweh." Loki mumbled.

"Father doesn't allow us to have pets so you'll have to stay quiet and you can not leave my room understand?" Loki stated with a uncharacteristic seriousness.

The kitten meowed softly and jumped at Loki's hand.

"Alright. What should I name you?" He questioned. The kitten continued to chew at Loki's hand.

"Champion?" He questions and the kitten meowed at him.

"Champion it is!" Loki exclaims and the kitten jumps at Loki's face, nibbling on his nose slightly. Loki giggles and pets the kitten again.

Clint smiles. It was an adorable sight.

Clint's eyes widen and he cursed himself out. What was he thinking? This was his enemy and if he could he would strangle the bastard.

Time shifted and soon Clint was alone in the room with Champion. The cat was bigger now, but not by much.

The door creeped open and Loki and Thor walked into the room.

"You mustn't tell Thor." Loki hissed and Champion meowed at him, sitting up and expectantly waiting for the head scratches he would soon get. Loki went over to the bed and scooped up Champion.

"I found him a few weeks ago. He was alone in mother's garden. Thor look at his eyes! His face!" Loki exclaimed, nuzzling the cats head with his own.

"I won't tell." Thor promises but Loki watches him with narrowed eyes.

"Have faith in me brother! When have I ever broken a promise?" Thot exclaims and Loki frowns. The two sit on Loki's bed, talking about the days before.

"Oh loki I've made new friends!" Thor exclaims.

"Really?" The younger questions. He didn't want his brother to ignore him in favor of the new people.

"Yes. They call themselves the warriors three! And there is Lady Sif." He explains.

They continue to talk about Thor's new friends and weather or not loki would get a chance to meet them. 

The world turned dark and thunder struck the land. Loki was curled up under the covers of his bed, crying softly.

"A warrior mustn't be afraid of such minor things!" He scolded himself before another boom of lightning caused Loki to cry out in fear.

Loki wanted to go to Thor then but he knew his brother wouldn't stand for such idiocy. Such childish fear of something so foolish.

He didn't wish to awaken mother either. For if he did he would awake father as well.

It was a lose lose situation and it only caused Loki to cry harder and make the blanket fall away from his head

Champion jumped up onto the bed, snuggling up to him and licking Loki's face. The boy hiccuped before grabbing the feline and brining it closer to him.

"We will be warriors together than champion." He mumbles and the cat meowed, licking his cheek before purring loudly.

The world changed and now loki was holding onto a frightened Champion. The kitten was no longer small and tiny but now grown, most likely a year or two. Loki didn't seem to have changed except for the fact that his hair was longer.

"Father no!" Loki pleaded but Odin glared at his youngest son.

Thor his behind his father, ashamed that he had broken Loki's promise. The black haired boy held in tightly to champion.

"You know the rules Loki." Odin stated.

"But I can take care of him! I have been for two years now father! That must prove some sort of responsibility!" Loki continued to plead.

Loki was crying now, the cat wiggling in his arms and licking his hands in an attempt to calm the smaller boy.

"Please father." Loki pleaded once more, "He has no one! Let me keep him!" He's like me loki added as an afterthought but only he and Clint heard it.

"Say your goodbyes and next time I come I want that feline gone." Odin states, turning and marching away. Loki cried softly and hugged the cat tighter.

Thor was frowning at the door.

"Loki I-"

"Leave." Loki growled.

"Loki-"

"This is all your fault you twit! If you had just kept your promise and shut your trap I wouldn't have to abandons Champion! It's all your fault!" Loki yelled through tears.

Champion meowed.

"Loki..."

"Leave Thor!" Loki hissed again, walking over and slamming the door in Thor's face.

Thor stood there in shock before frowning and walking away.

Loki fell onto his bed and released the cat who walked over and gently nuzzling his head.

"I'm sorry." Loki mumbles before collecting the cat in his arms. He walked out to the garden and to the bush he had first found the white and black kitten.

"Love you Champion." Loki whispered softly before putting the cat on the ground. He turned to leave but the feline followed.

"You must leave!" Loki stayed but the cat still followed.

"Leave! Go away!" Loki shouted. Champions ears pressed against his head before he turned and ran away.

Loki fell to his knees and cried.

Clint found himself in another room, watching Odin and Frigga Watch loki through the window.

"You couldn't even let the poor boy have a single happiness?" Frigga snapped.

"He broke the rules Frigga and you know this" odin states.

"And what about all the times that Thor has broken the rules? He has never been forced to do something as heartbreaking as losing a friend!" Frigga shouted.

"You've nearly sent him to his room for the day without food! Couldn't you have allowed him to keep the cat?" Frigga persists.

"My rule is my word and he went against my rule." Odin snapped and Frigga shook her head.

"I will be sleeping in the guest chambers tonight." She stayed and with a quick flourish left the room.

Clint followed after her, no longer wanting to be in the same room as Odin. Clint followed Frigga out to the garden where she bent down and scooped up loki. The little bit quickly hugged onto his mother as she shushed him and turned back into the palace, carrying the crying child back to his room.

"Why does father hate me mother?" Clint heard Loki question. It made the archer stop.

What child should have to deal with that? To believe ones own father hated them was beyond abuse. Clint now understood even more on how loki became as fucked up as he was. It started at such a young age.

"He doesn't hate you loki." Frigga murmurs as she enters Loki's chambers. She gently lays the small boy on his bed before sitting there besides him.

"He's just strict, but he loves you all the same."

"He appears to love Thor more mother." Loki mumbles, toying with the edges of his shirt. Frigga frowned and kissed the crown of Loki's head.

"He and Thor have more in common so he doesn't know how to act around you. He's a good man loki and he's a good father. He just has trouble sometimes." Frigga explained and Loki nodded, turning and nuzzling against his mother. The sky had grown dark as night approached quickly.

"I loved him." Loki mumbles, he was playing with a ball of white and black fur. Clint's heart grew heavy for the small child curled up against his mother.

"He must've been a great friend." Frigga states.

"He was." Loki answers with a yawn, closing his eyes and pressing somehow even closer to his mother.

"Love you mama." The child mumbles. Frigga smiles.

"I love you too." With that she sang a soft lullaby, stroking Loki's back as the child fell asleep.


	4. The Warriors Three

Clint rubbed at his eyes, it felt as if days has passed and yet he kept seeing different memories.

It scared him how few of those memories were happy.

This memory seemed different. Little loki appeared to be almost eight, Thor was ten. Loki was happily following Thor to meet his friends. Fandral, Hogun, Volstagg And sif.

"Then fandral and hogun had to pull volstagg away!" Thor laugh joyously as he talked about his large friend.

"You believe they'll like me?" Loki questioned nervously, fidgeting with his hands.

"They shall brother!" Thor replies.

"Thor!" A feminine voice calls and Thor turns, smiling as a young blond haired girl comes running towards him.

"Hello Sif!" He states and hugs the girl. She glanced at loki with a slight distance. The younger boy flinches before straightening and extending his hand out. Sif made a face and turned back to Thor. Loki's smile dropped and so did his hand.

Three other boys came running, one larger than the other.

"Friends! Meet my little brother loki." Thor says happily and the boys look at the smaller male.

"I am loki odinson." Loki states, extending his hand again. The children look at each other before the blond boy held his hand out as well.

"I am fandral, this is hogun," he pointed to the dark haired boy to his left, "and that is volstagg" Loki smiles at each of them, getting small hesitant ones back.

"Let's go into the market!" Volstagg questioned after a bit of silence.

"You always want to go to the market you fat oaf!" Sif snipped, causing the others to laugh. The four children started bickering, ignore the youngest boy as he stood away from the group.

Now the children were running, jumping and climbing rocks along a river. It was summer and the heat along with the sun beat down on the five younglings. Loki was behind, panting heavily and failing to keep up with the others.

"Th-Thor!" He called out but his brother didn't hear him and continued forward.

Loki slipped and fell, scrapping his hands and knees against the rock before tumbling down into the river where he panicked.

Loki didn't know how to swim and as the young child flailed all clint could do was watch in horror.

"Hogun did you see where Loki went?" Clint heard lowly. He turned his head and could easily see the four children.

"He probably went back home Thor! You know he can't keep up with us." Sif stated, rolling her eyes in annoyance.

They couldn't see Loki as the rocks blocked him from sight. The rushing current did nothing but drag the small child back.

"Alright. Last one the the bridge is a wretched jotun!" Thor exclaimed, commencing the race once more.

They couldn't hear Loki's gargled pleas for help and the current continued to drag the boy back and under. Somehow after what seemed to be an hour with battling the river Loki managed to pull himself onto the bank, taking deep lungfuls or air as he coughed and choked up dirty water.

His short hair was sticking down in some places and up in others.

All Clint could feel was sorry for the boy. From the memories hes seen he understood a bit more.

Loki's father favored Thor and always bitched about any wrong doing Loki did, even if it was Thor.

Thor's friends didn't really like Loki. The smaller boy unable to keep up at times; he was weaker and different compared to the others.

Thor cared for his baby brother but was oblivious to the treatment he got from others. The only person who ever treated Loki fairly was frigga.

Thor watched as the little boy collapsed on the ground, his hands, arms and legs scratched and bleeding.

It was hours before someone found Loki, a peasant women that came to wash her clothes but by then the day had darkened and Night was soon to fall.

And Loki was shivering.

The peasant women lifted the small shivering child and quickly left, hurrying back towards the palace. The boy was taken from her and brought to the healers.

Clint watched as frigga smiled when her youngest opened his eyes.

"Mama..." he whimpered softly.

"Hello my darling moon." She whispered back and Loki smiled. Thor was sullen and quiet, standing near the door. Odin was nowhere to be found.

"What happened?" Frigga questioned.

"I was with Thor and his friends... then I tripped down into the river. It was got so cold mama, colder than the winters!" Loki exclaimed before going into a coughing fit.

"I..." the small child yawned, "I called for Thor and the others but they didn't hear..."

"We thought you went back to the palace! It is not my fault you cannot keep up with us!" Thor finally spoke, but Loki was already half asleep.

"Thor! Your brother isn't like you! When he is with you and the others you must make sure he is alright!" Frigga snapped.

"Alright mother." Thor answered and turned to leave, but not without sending a small glare at loki.

The younger saw and shrunk back.

Thor left without another word.

~

Clint watched as Loki trailed after his mother, pleading for her to spend time with him.

"Please mama!" He cried and frigga stopped, spinning around to face her youngest.

"Loki go play with Thor and his friends. I have to attend to a meeting with father." She stated and Loki sniffed.

"Th-they don't like me! Please mama let me stay with you." He begged, fat tears already falling down his cheeks.

"Loki. I cannot have you with me. Now go." She said and clint could see the pain in her eyes.

Loki snuffed and nodded, turning around and walking away with his head hung low.

~

The lights and place changes, now clint is on a roof watching as the warriors three, sif and Thor sat, looking out across the village.

"I don't understand why you constantly bring loki around!" Sif argues, the other three males nodding slightly.

"Aye lady Sif but he doesn't have much other friends. You cannot even tolerate him for a little?" Thor questions and Sif sighed.

"He is so slow! He can't keep up! Remember the river incident!? You were allowed out for a week because of him!" She continued.

"Sif" hogun chastised, gesturing to the deadly glare Thor was leveling her way.

"All we say is... well loki cannot stay out with us such as you. He gets sick and tired and cannot keep up. Wouldn't it be better to leave him at the palace?" Fandral explained.

Thor frowned.

"I'll see my friends..." He mumbles.

Unknown to them, Loki was standing at the base of the building. He held back his noises as tears trailed down his cheeks.

The small boy ran home, tripping on his way up the stairs before making his way inside and to his room. Clint watched as Loki fell into his bed, gripping a pillow to his face as he sobbed into it.

He continued to watch as Loki seemed to grow in his bed, getting up and walking around quickly before it ended the same. Face down in his bed as he cried. Then it stopped and clint was outside again.

Thor was nowhere to be seen but the warriors three and Sif were there. Her blond hair past her shoulders.

"What would you like Sif?" Loki questioned softly, looking down at his feet, clutching the books he held to his chest.

"I want you to stay away from me and Thor." She hissed.

"Every time we are together you constantly ruin the moment you twit! You can't even keep up with us now that your older!" She continued.

"I am no twit." Loki growled.

"No your a twig that snaps easily." Fandral laughed causing the other to follow along.

"Get out you jotun." Sif teases with menace.

"I am not a jotun! I'm asgaurdian and a prince!" Loki shouted but that didn't hide the tears in his eyes.

"Oh no is the little witch going to cry?" Volstagg teased slapping the books in Loki's hand to the ground where Sif stomped on them.

"You will regret this Sif." Loki growled before snatching the book and running.

~

It was night and clint was squinting in an attempt to see. He noticed Loki sneak out of the window in his room, jumping to a tree before jumping to the ground.

He lit a small green light in his hand, grunting at the effort before sneaking through the palace and towards sifs home.

He snuck in and watched the women sleep for a moment, the light snuffed out now. With a snap of his fingers his eye lit up slightly before Loki gets closer. He smiles and shaved off sifs golden hair without waking the women.

Once the deed was done loki stepped back and took a deep breath, closing his eyes and focusing. Soon the fourteen year old, but most likely older, teleported to his own room. He fell onto the bed in exhaustion and was out like a light.

The next day loki jolted awake with a shout as Thor yelled and ragged.

"What have you done!?" He growled but loki simply blinked at him in confusion.

"What?" He yawned, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Thor gripped Loki by his growling hair and dragged him out of his room.

"What did you do to Sif?" He growled but loki continued squirming, crying out in pain every time Thor pulled harder. Thor finally released loki at the healing rooms which was bustling with activity.

"There you are you little bastard!" Loki heard someone shout. He schooled his face into a blank expression as he looked at the female. She was purely bald except for her eyebrows and eyelashes.

"What is with all the commotion?" He asked blankly.

"You cut my hair during the night you bastard!" Sif shouted.

"I was alseep all night long." Loki explained simply. Soon the healers managed to figure out a way to regrow sifs hair but not the beautiful gold locks, now it was black.

Loki had to hold back a smirk.

"My hair!" Sif cried.

"Now if you may excuse me, i shall be going Back to my quarters." The raven haired man turned and left the room, Thor glancing at Sif before following his brother. Thor caught up to loki and forcefully entered his room.

"Why would you do this brother!?" Thor growled and Loki shrugged.

"I didn't do anything." He answers and turns, looking in a mirror and gently prodding at his head, glaring at Thor.

"You are a pathetic coward who uses tricks to gain what he needs. I wish you weren't my brother." Thor growled and Loki froze, his breath catching in his throat.

"You... you don't mean that." He says softly, turning to face the older male.

"I do." Thor growled.

"You don't even look like my brother!" Thor continued.

"I an large and you are small, I am strong you are weak! You don't even look like mother or father. You are a disappointment." Thor hissed before leaving, slamming the door.

Loki looked down at his feet and tears trailed down his face.

Clint couldn't believe what he heard. Did Thor not know about the constant bullying his friends forced upon the smaller? Loki fell to his knees before leaning back and sitting on his ass. He continued to cry as he stared at the wall.

He looked down at his arms, his pale lanky arms and started scratching at them. Scratching and clawing until he drew blood, sobbing harder with each claw.

"I'm sorry brother." He sobbed, his arms bleeding onto his pants.

No one heard the younger princes cries, if they did he was ignored.

Clint felt his head ache.

He watched as days passed and Loki started wearing long sleeved shirts, covering up his arms to his wrists.

The young boy had started avoiding his family, locking himself in his room and never straying our unless for food.

Sif and the others continued to berate and belittle him but he no longer retaliated. He let them say what they wanted and walked away.

They managed to break him. The four and his own brother.

This was the start of Loki's downfall, but really it started from the moment he was able to walk.


	5. Family

Tony sighed as he ran his hand through his hair. So much has happened in such a short amount of time. More than 80 people killed and one of the avengers own were taken.

With clint gone romanov has been on her toes and snappy. Always trying to triangulate where exactly the psychopath went with her best friend.

Tony was more worried for his family. For his son and husband.

"Daddy!" A high pitched voice cuts through his thoughts and his spins on the bar stool to look at his son.

Peter comes running to him, arms thrown up and giggling as he dad lifts him up with ease. His other father following, a bright smile on his face.

"He won't let me put him to bed unless he got a story and hug from you." Steve explains and tony chuckles.

"Really pete ?" Tony questions the five year old.

"Please daddy? Papas stories are nice but I want yours too!" He begs and tony sighs, putting his cup in the sink and standing up with his son.

"Alright then my little spider." He chuckles, walking with Steve back to his sons room. The pent house was large, three master bedrooms side by side. One was the one he shared with Steve, the other peters and the last was where rhodey stayed when he visited.

Peter jumped into his bed, a red and blue colored bed frame supporting the mattress. He snuggled under the blankets, a book already on the chairs besides the bed. Tony grabs the book and kneels besides peter while Steve sits down.

They read the book softly, the lights dimming thanks to Jarvis.

"The end." Tony finishes, pressing a kiss to the half asleep child in the bed.

"Love you petey." Steve says, standing besides tony now.

"Love you guys..." he yawns, "too." Tony and Steve silently slip out of the room, Jarvis shirting the lights off fully as the door clicks closed.

"What are we going to do Steve?" Tony almost whimpers as the duo undress for bed.

"We'll get Clint back." He hesitates, "did you see the video footage before the building exploded?"

"Yeah... why?" Tony questions, anger instantly changing his demeanor as he thinks of what happened to innocent civilians.

"He looked... out of it... twitchy and too pale for it to be healthy." He murmurs, laying down on the bed.

"Are you really sympathizing with the enemy?" Tony snaps and Steve sits up.

"No god no!" He shouts quickly, "but maybe... maybe he's just a puppet? Being controlled to do someone else's bidding... there's obvious signs of torture all over his body."

Tony freezes, "Jarvis pull up the video feed of the day reindeer games fell through the portal." He states, quickly walking to the tv as is snaps on.

"Right away sir." Jarvis smooth voice calls.

The video rolls but stark doesn't pay attention to the people speaking, he's watching the portal as a tall figure lands out of it.

He stands up on shaky legs, this was the moment the video feed messed up, the voices sounding staticky and the camera feed buzzed.

The man was indeed pale, extremely so, and his eyes along with his cheeks were sunken. He stabs the staff into the ground to remain upright.

"Slow the video jarv"

"Alright sir." The video slows.

"Try to clear it up for me" the video clears only slightly and continues to play out. His eyes were dull but then he'd twitch and they'd gain a gleam to them. That's when he would attack.

"I think you might be on to something capsicle" tony mutters.

"Jarvis is Bruce awake?" Tony calls, pulling his shirt back on.

"Yes sir, he's drinking his tea in the main room. Would you like me to tell him to go to the lab?"

"You know me so well Jarvis!" Tony shouts already racing out of the room. Steve sighs but an amused smile makes it way to his face. He turns and drops onto his bed with a sigh.

It seems to be a few minutes later before Steve wakes with someone nudging him.

"Peter?" He questions groggily as his son kneels on the bed besides his head.

"Papa when is uncle Clint coming back?" He mumbles, head hung low.

"Another nightmare?" Steve questions. Peter had come looking for Steve and toy at the wrong time, catching glimpses as people were killed and Clint was taken under control by the "man who fell out the portal" peter nods his head and Steve sighs, holding open the comforter so peter could lay besides him.

"Uncle Clint is with someone right now. Someone who's in as much trouble as Clint okay? We're going to get him back and help the portal man okay?" He whispers to his son.

Peter nods before yawning, snuggling closer to Steve.

"Goodnight papa." He mumbles for the third time tonight.

"Sweet dreams peter."

And if sometime during the night peter woke again to another nightmare it didn't matter. Steve and tony, who came running to bed after Jarvis informed him that peter had a nightmare, were there to comfort him with soothing words and kisses.


	6. Spar

Clint was exhausted.

He's seen memory after memory, pain followed by anger and sadness then more pain. He very rarely saw happiness. Every other moment when loki would train his magic with frigga, or when he'd find a very interesting book he favored.

Very little was he happy with Thor. Even less when Odin or the warriors three and six were around. Then there was heimdall. He was Thor's newest and closest friend, the seer of all. The cold eyed man was friendly to loki but nothing more. Loki was older now, in human years he appeared to be in his teens, around seventeen or eighteen, and he still didn't have any true friends. His friendship with Thor had practically died after the incident with sifs hair.

Clint was outside in the training area with loki and Thor. They were sparing as a simple game but people were starting to crowd around them, watching the two princes fight. Loki has promised to not use magic while he sparred so when Thor easily overpowered him it was no surprise. The crowd watching applauded the golden prince before dispersing slightly.

Thor helped his brother up as frigga came over. She spoke about how she was proud of her sons and is far they came in there training. Thor was smiling with pride, Loki simply stared at his feet.

They spared again and again in the days coming, Thor constantly besting Loki. The younger always ending up with his sword thrown to the side and a knee against his spine.

The light changed and it was night now, Loki was the only one awake. He was sparing with, what seemed to be, himself! It was strange, whenever loki would do a fatal strike the sword would cut straight through the other and that's when Clint realized that one was a clone.

Loki would dodge and wave his imposter while trying to pin or cut him down. This continued for months at night until loki finally seemed himself perfect.

Then the day came when Thor challenged him to another spar. Loki was hesitant as usual, Thor's words echoing in his mind for a moment before he pushed them away. If the blond god didn't seem to care or remember what he said after sif lost her hair then why should he dwell on it?

"You should change shirts brother." Thor comments as they walk to the sparing ring. Loki scratches at his long sleeves, feeling the ridges of the scars from the previous night.

"Yes well, I'm more than comfortable and flexible in these clothes." He states and Thor rolls his eyes.

They get into positions and the sparing starts. People father instantly, cheering on Thor as he was the usual victor. The only difference was that Odin was watching along with frigga this time.

If I win they'd cheer me on... Clint had heard loki think to himself on his many lonely sparing sessions.

The two brothers fought long and hard until loki finally got the upper hand, a quick cut along Thor's hands caused him to release the sword which Loki quickly kicked away. He then maneuvered himself behind Thor and knocked the larger prince down, pressing his knee against the others back as he panted harshly.

Loki heard no applause. He heard angry whispers and murmuring instead.

"He obviously cheated!" He heard someone shout, "god of tricks is his title ." Someone else stated. Loki looks around and only sees angry annoyed faces and that's when it clicks.

They never truly came to see who would win. They had come to see loki get beaten by his brother, knowing that he was the weaker of the two. Loki glances at Odin but his father wasn't even looking. Loki dropped his sword and stumbled away from Thor, the crowd had now moved on.

"Good job brother!" Thor stayed happily, oblivious to the fact that no one else seemed to care.

"Shut your trap Thor!" Loki growls before teleporting away. He fell against a wall in his room, tears streaming down his face. He practically ripped his shirt off as he grabbed one of his daggers. He dragged it against his arms over and over, crying silently.

No one truly cared.

No one ever would.

Loki finished and threw the dagger to the side as he stared at his arms. He was a disgrace, unfit for the title of prince. The title of odins son. He just wanted to make his father proud.

Just once was all he asked.

~

Thor was confused. He had just complimented his brother and yet he was yelled at. He didn't understand. What had he done wrong? He had seen loki practice at night once before and had been quite excited that his brother had taken an interest in a weapon besides his magic so he had asked for a duel and loki had actually won! Yet he turned cold and bitter when they finished. 

With a sigh Thor picked up his and his brothers swords. He walked back towards the castle and to his brothers chambers to return the sword. As he neared he heard the distinct sound of crying, of sobbing. Thor held the swords tighter and walked closer to Loki's room, the sound becoming louder as he did. He opens his brothers door slightly and looked inside.

Loki was sobbing on the floor, arms curled around his head as he rested them against his knees. There was blood along his sleeves and pants. That just confused Thor even more.

Thor hasn't hurt Loki while they spared had he? The older prince was bewildered as he watched his brother. He sighed quietly before putting his sword besides the door and closing said door quietly.

Thor would never truly understand loki. Never got why he'd hear sobbing as he passed his brothers room at night. How some days he didn't venture out of his room unless persuaded by frigga while other days not even she could get the younger boy to make an appearance.

Never understood how loki had ended up so bloody after there spring, but he never asked and as thor got older and Loki got colder he wished he did.

Clint was screaming, practically yelling at Thor to come back in and help his little brother but he didn't, he watched as Thor turned and walked back to his room.

Clint just watched as Loki continued to cry and he felt the remaining anger dwindle even more.

Who could be surprised that loki turned out the way he did? If any one of his family members were then they never truly understood him.


	7. Sleipnir

Everyday just bore down on Clint more and more, every memory causing Clint to feel more heart ache and more resentment to Loki's family. How could they treat someone this way?

Now, for some reason, Loki was a horse. He couldn't really recall how he and the trickster got to where they were but he didn't truly care. He just wanted to sleep. With a sigh Clint let his eyes drift close, enjoying the feel of the grass against his palms and the wind in his hair.

The loki horse whinnied at something and got a reply. It took Clint a moment before his eyes shot open, it had just been him and Loki horse, Where did that other whinny come from? His eyes widened when they focused on the colt that laid on the ground. Loki was cleaning the baby horse and huffing slightly.

Clint could feel his emotions, the happiness that radiates off the male, but how? Guys shouldn't be able to give birth!

But, Loki could shape shift. He was a horse for God's sake, so could he also change his gender? Was Loki a mare, not a stallion? Clint watched the young horse, try to stand and his eyes widened again. Instead of a normal four legs, the colt had eight. It's grey coat was similar to a thunder cloud and his mane and tail were darker colors of the grey. The baby gets to its feet quickly, staggering slightly as it moves towards its mother.

Loki couldn't have been happier, smiling down at his son.

~

Loki's months with his son were all filled with galloping and neighs of joy. The young colt, named Sleipnir, was growing quickly and happily, enjoying his time with his mother greatly. Now at the age of two years was half his mother's size and growing more everyday.

"Loki." A voice boomed on night, causing the mare to jump startled awake, slightly stepping in sleipnir in her panic.

Odin was marching towards Loki followed by Thor. In his panic Loki quickly nudged his son to his feet and the two were off, running away from the perceived threat. Sleipnir was faster than his mother, even at such a young age the child was a few feet ahead. They raced into the forest and away from the open meadow quickly.

They continued to run until Sleipnir tripped and fell down, whinnying at his mother of his exhaustion. Loki quickly trots back to his child, licking his forehead and urging him to stand. The young horse whinnied and Loki huffed, laying down beside his child.

The two stayed besides each other, Loki to afraid of his child to try to attempt sleep, ears flicking this way and that at every noise. When he finally let his eyes close Sleipnirs were opening. He jumped at his mother, raising two legs and gently kicking him.

Loki huffed and opened his eyes again, standing and walking in the direction they had been headed for last night. They reached a break in the trees and trotted into a small meadow. It held a small pond in the center, filled with clear water and silver flashing fish. Trees filled with fruit littered the edges and Loki neighed happily, raising up to grab one. He knocked a few off and Sleipnir happily went to eat them.

Loki led his son over to a shaded part of the meadow, laying down as Sleipnir went to the waters edge. He jumped into the water happy for the cool water on his hooves. Loki let his eyes close, sleeping lightly to the sound of sleipnirs splashes. 

The duo stayed in that meadow for a week before Odin found them again, this time they were unable to escape.

"Loki, brother what are you doing?" Thor questioner, causing Loki to startle and jolt away towards his son. Odin stood besides Thor and Loki pawed at the ground, keeping his body between the two and his son. He didn't trust Odin to be near his grandson.

"Change back Loki, I would like to speak with you." Odin commands, glaring at his youngest son. Clint shivered at the tone. Loki trembled slightly before allow his skin to change back to his normal form.

Sleipnir nudged his back and Loki stuck his hand out, placing it on Sleipnirs forehead and stroking softly.

"Hello father. Thor." Loki acknowledges.

"What is the meaning of this?" Odin questions, gesturing to the colt behind Loki.

"This..." He took a deep breath, "this is Sleipnir, my son." Thors mouth seemed to drop open into a perfect O as Odin simply rolled his eyes.

"Your mother is worried about you. She has asked me to bring you home, so that is what I'm here to do." Odin states, was he not even worried for his youngest son?

"I will not leave Sleipnir behind." Loki growls, said horse nudges Loki again. Loki turns and holds his sons face gently, scratching his chin and rubbing his neck.

"Bring the horse then." Odin states.

"He is your grandson!" Loki yells but Odin was walking away. Thor shook his head.

"Loki you cannot possibly be the mother of a horse. Stop this and let's go." Thor growls, following his father as he mutters and shakes his head. Loki didn't know what to say. He knew his brother barley tolerated some of the things he did but to not even believe that Sleipnir was his nephew?

He hadn't even wanted Sleipnir in the beginning, he had just gotten stuck in a new form and was unable to shift back until it was to late but now he was happy to have Sleipnir, the king among horses.

"Let's go." He says softly, gently rubbing Sleipnirs nose before following after his family, although they no longer felt like family. They reached the plains were they had first encountered one another.

"Bring us home heimdall." Thor called and soon the large group were making there way back to Asgard. Clint hadn't even realized they were no longer on the alien planet.

Once they finally arrived Thor was the first to depart as he went to talk to his friend.

"You will put your son in the stable with the other horses." Odin states.

"Father you can't possibly-" He was cut off with a sharp smack. Sleipnir huffed angrily, coming to stand between his grandfather and mother.

"This horse will be staying in the stables along with the other beasts." Odin growls, storming away. Loki held his cheek, staring at his feet. Clint was looking at Thor and heimdall but they didn't pay any attention to the injured adolescent.

"Come Sleipnir. All I can do for now is give you the best stall in the stables." He says softly, patting his sons flank before walking forward. His son neighs softly before following. The two reach the stables and Loki cringes. The stalls were disgusting to say the least, absolutely filthy.

"Does he even have a stable hand?" He growls, leading Sleipnir to the larger of the stalls. He looks inside and cringes again before sighing.

Green swirls appear from Loki's fingers as he tries to make the stalls more presentable for not only his son but the other horses as well. He groans once he finishes, stumbling back slightly as he looks around. The stables seemed to be good as new, smelling of fresh hay and flowers.

"Come." He says softly, opening the stable for his son. Sleipnir steps inside but neighs softly to his mother.

"Alright, alright." He smiles, stepping in with his son. He stretches a cot out and lays down on it, watching as Sleipnir lays as well.

"I know that the hay isn't the most comfortable darling, but bare with it. I'll have your grandfather changing his ways sooner or later." Loki promises and Sleipnir whinnies. Loki smiles at him and allows his eyes to close, the wasted energy causing exhaustion to drag at his arms and legs.

~\<\~\<\~\<\~

Days turned into months with turned into years and Sleipnir grew bigger and stronger. He ended up outgrowing his personal stable multiple times, but Loki didn't care. He was proud for how big his son was getting. He spent all of his time with his son, telling him stories and other various things.

Sleipnir was the only one who would listen to his problems. The only one who knew of his self harm, for he had seen the scars along his mother's legs and arms when he was a mare.

Today loki was called into the castle for a family meeting, Sleipnir wasn't considered family for the other three gods so he had stayed in his stable. As he walked to the throne room, he had just left the showers, he ran into one of Odom's guards. Nothing was said, no apology nothing. the guard continued on, walking out of the castle to whatever it is he was asked to do.

"Loki, finally dear!" Frigga says happily. Loki wanted to me mad at He for no acknowledging his son, but he couldn't. For she was only one of the other few people who truly cared for him.

"What is this about allfather?" Loki questioned softly.

"We will be having guests over within the week. I want you all," the way he was glaring at loki simply meant that this only meant the trickster, "on your best behavior."

Thor bowed slightly, muttering a quiet "yes father"

"Anything else?" Loki questions.

"Indeed-" He never got to finish that question when a loud shriek pierces the air. Loki was running instantly, his feet bribing him to the stables and towards his son. The sight before him made his blood boil, his son was kicking and screaming in his attempt to break free of the stable mans hands.

"Let go if him this instant!" Loki shouted and the rope attached to his bridle was released.

"What is the meaning of this?!" He growls, holding his sons head as he nudged him.

"That was what we were going to talk about Loki." A voice snaps behind him. He must've been alone.

"Hello allfather" Loki states, watching as his son toys with the metal bit in his mouth.

"We were going to do an assessment of the horses and assign them to a owner."

"You will not assign my son, the king of all horses, a owner like some lowly beast!" Loki yells, turning around to face Odin.

"He is stronger, faster, better than any other horse in this stable! He will be treated like the prince and king he is!" Loki demands.

"Do you know what your mother thinks of your son?" Odin spits, Loki freezes.

"She believes it's a lie, just like all the others you tell." He growls, Loki couldn't tel if that was a lie. Frigga would've loved Sleipnir...

"Your wrong!" He tells and Odin laughs.

"If your claims are true then prove it." Odin changes the topic quickly.

"What do you mean?" He questions.

"Have Sleipnir go against the fastest horses in the kingdom. If he can beat them then he will not get some peasant for a owner."

"He will not get any owner besides me!" Loki states and Sleipnir neighs softly.

"He won't get any owner." Odin states and Loki stands tall.

"Deal." He agrees.

~

The very next day all the horses were rounded up and they raced on another. As predicted Sleipnir won. Loki couldn't have been more proud for his son.

Not many knew of Sleipnir origins and Loki wanted to keep it that way. All of the hate already aimed towards him was enough.

"You did good my son." Loki says softy, leading Sleipnir back to his stall. Once he helped his son inside, he hands him apples and sugar cubes. Footsteps draw his attention elsewhere and he look to frigga.

"Hello mother." He says happily. She eyes the cot that was set up in the stall.

"Hello my love. When was the last time you've spelt in your actual bed?" She Questions worriedly.

"I cannot leave him alone mother." He says softly.

"Sleipnir will be fine for one night. I beg you to sleep in your room for tonight." She says softly. Loki sighs and nods his head, he was never truly able to deny his mother. Loki presses a kiss to Sleipnirs forehead before following his mother back to the castle.

As he walks Odin meets them, two cups in hand.

"You were right loki." He answers, handing him the cup of mead. Loki nods his head and takes he drink, easily downing it and handing it back to his father.

"Goodnight father." He states and enters his room. He didn't notice the smirk on Odom's face.

"What have you done?" Frigga questions.

"I simply did what was best for the kingdom. Come my love, let's go to bed." He takes friggas hand and the two make there way to their shared room. The entire time frigga was worried for what odin has planned.

~

Clint watched Loki sleep. And sleep. And sleep, without any signs of waking. He knew something wasn't right with the drink Odin had gave him when not even the shrieks from Sleipnir stirred him. It was almost noon when he finally woke, groaning and rubbing his forehead.

"What?" He licks his lips before pushing himself into a sitting position. His eyes widen when he glances out the window, jumping to his feet only to stumble to his knees. He curses slightly before getting his footing and racing out of his room with Clint right behind him. He enters the stables and screams at the fact that Sleipnir was no longer in his stall, marks surrounding the area from an obvious struggle.

Cheering brings his attention to the town and he races out of the stables, eyes widening even more when they land on his father. His father who was riding the back of his son. Sleipnirs Head was held up high, obviously painful in the way he constantly played with the bit in his mouth.

"Odin What is the meaning of this!" Loki shouts angrily.

"Quiet now trickster." Odin snarls.

"You said you would not give him a owner!" Loki shouts again.

"A beast with this much power needs a leader just as powerful. Know your place Loki." Odin growls before moving away, greeting the common people. Sleipnir was struggling to go to his mother, but the spurs in his sides urged him forward.

Loki fell to his knees, watching as his father continue parading around with his son.

He had drugged him, obviously. If Loki has been awake he would've heard Sleipnirs cry's, would've been with his son and prevented this from happening. Tears sting his eyes but Loki wouldn't let them fall.

"Are you Alright?" Someone questions and Loki turns his head. One of the richer common folk was walking over to him. Loki's seen him before, him and his father at meeting with odin many times before. A girl walks over to the two, Loki recognized her as well.

"Hello baldr. sigyn" he said softly, watching after his son. The two share a look before moving closer to the prince.

"Come my prince, We'll bring you somewhere better." Baldr says, extending his hand. Loki flinched when it was first extended to him before calming and taking it. He was lifted to his feet and the three walked away to a small cabin.

"What troubles you so?" sigyn questioned, toying with her black hair.

"Allfather is a filthy lier." He says quietly. The two share a glance. If it was any other citizen they would've been quick to protect their king. Instead they stayed quiet and allowed Loki to talk. He ended up spilling the fact that Sleipnir was his son and instead of being belittled he was consoled.

And Loki actually smiled, as this was the start of a beautiful friendship.


	8. Friends? What is that?

Clint was smiling, he was smiling because loki was smiling. Before all of this happened he'd slit Loki's throat before smiling because of the trickster. Oh how quickly that changed. Loki was smiling because baldur was impersonating the allfather, badly that is. Sigyn was laughing as well, hand covering her mouth.

After the incident with sleipnir loki had only visited his son once. His son had been angry, how could his own grandfather use him like a common mule? His father had lied! He was humiliated in front of hundreds. So loki has let his son be, getting to his room only to break down as his own son disowned him. Why couldn't he do anything right? That day loki ended up unconscious as his wrists bled. That day baldur had come for a visit. If it wasn't for him loki would've bled out on his own floor.

"Beautiful baldur! Amazing!" Loki applauds, laughing happily. For the past few years he's been happy with his friends, his mother and father both knew about them but Thor was still oblivious.

"Thank you! Thank you! I live to serve my prince!" He snickers and loki rolls his eyes as sigyn snorts.

"Oh and loki, my brother would like you to train him with his bow." That caught Clint's attention and he looked at the other male.

"Hodr correct?" Loki asked and received a nod.

"But why a bow and arrow? First of allI'm better with daggers and secondly isn't he blind?" Loki questions and baldur shrugs.

"He's strange but I love him." baldur sighs and Loki nods.

"Alright, when you come to the training area bring him along and I'll help him." baldur hums in response and silence settles for a moment.

"Aren't you already unable to be injured baldur?" Sigyn questions.

"Nothing can injur me!" He exclaims.

"Would you like to test that?" Loki smile sickeningly sweet.

"What do you have planned trickster?" baldur questions only to shriek as Loki lunges at him, dagger in hand. He slashed at baldurs palm but the skin doesn't break and baldur pushes him off.

"Your Magic's getting better." He praises and Loki beams.

"I have already passed my mother in skill!" Loki says happily and sigyn watched with a smile. Loki glances at her and his face tints pink, clearing his throat and looking out the window.

"I should get going. Thank you for having me over sigyn." Loki states, uncrossing his long legs and standing.

"I should get going as well." baldur groans as he stretches. Sigyn stands as well and she hugs baldur goodbye. When Loki walks up to her he conjures a bright white and yellow flower, skidding it into her hair before hugging her goodbye.

The two males leave the home and baldur snickers, "if you married sigyn you think the allfather will accept of her?"

Loki tenses at the mention of his father, "I will... I rather not think of this." baldur nods his head and throws an arm over Loki's shoulder.

"Have a good day my friend, ill see you tomorrow." He says happily and Loki nods as his friend steps away and walks to his own home. Loki watches sadly before making his way to the castle.

~

"Alright hodr, pull the string all the way to your chin. Good now slowly put it back to normal." Loki explains, the younger male doing as he says.

"Where is my brother my prince?" He questions. Loki pulls back, searching for his friend. Said male was talking to a general and looked over at the same moment. baldur smiles and Loki smiles back.

"He's to your left conversing with a battle general." Hodr hums.

"Now pull back to your chin again, your target is in front of you." Loki states and the blind male nods his head, pulling the arrow back before releasing.

"Bullseye." Loki states happily and Clint smiles from besides the target.

"Now you remember how to restock the arrow?" Loki questioned and hodr nodded. The male grabs an arrow, but it was different. The point seemed to be wrapped in something.

"Loki where is my brother now?" Hodr asked.

"Same as before to your left, why?" Loki's question was answered as hodr pulled the arrow back and pointed it towards where his brother was.

"Hodr no!" Loki shouts as the arrow goes flying to his friend. His eyes widen as it hits baldurs chest, the other males eyes widening as he glances down before looking at Loki and his brother. Loki races away from hodr, throwing himself at his friend who had fallen to the ground.

"I got you, don't you dare leave me." Loki hisses, hands pressing against the area the arrow had penetrated. Green wisps escape his hands as they try to stitch up his wound.

" mis-mistletoe" He whimpers, eyes unfocused.

"No, nonononono." Loki whimpers But his friends eyes dull and he doesn't take another breath. Loki cries in agony, his magic pushing anyone within a ten foot range of him and baldur away with a bright green glow.

~

"Loki was the one who aimed my bow! He gave me the arrow!" Hodr cries as the allfather and his own father confront him. Frigga gasps, looking at her youngest child who's chest and hands were stained with blood.

"Loki is this true?" She questions, not wanting to believe it.

"Mother of course not... He was my friend." He whimpers and Odin scoffs.

"Stop the lies trickster." He snarls and Loki flinches away.

"I want him punished! I want him punished!" Baldurs mother screams, struggling against her husband.

"How will he be punished?" Odin questions.

"Odin! You cannot instantly believe the word of one over your own son! Can you not see how crestfallen he is?" Frigga questions.

"Frigga, Loki is the god of mischief and lies. This is another one of his lies and desperate attempts for attention that will lead only to a punishment for the death of one of our strongest warriors." Odin states and with that he commands his guards to take his son into the dungeon.

~

Later that day the punishment was decided on, venom will be pours into his eyes for one whole month. Venom of one of the most potent snakes that could be found. Loki's arms were chained down by his wrists and his legs by his ankles.

Every time the venom drops from the snakes fangs into his eyes he's scream in pain, tears melding with the poison that manages to miss his eyes and trail down his cheeks.

Clint watched this with teary eyes, unable to look away. He does pry his eyes away when footsteps make their way to Loki's cell. Hodr stands there accompanied by Thor who wouldn't even look at his brother who sobbed and shuddered where he was chained.

"Please leave us prince Thor." Hodr mumbled with fake sadness. Thor nodded and hurried away, wanting to put as much space between his brother and himself.

"Your to easy trickster." Hodr sneers and Loki whimpers as he turns his head to look at him.

"Why?" He whimpered.

"When your the second child your forgotten. I was tired of living in baldurs shadow" he snarled. Clint flinched at that. The Loki that had fallen out of the portal was now like Hodr

I'm tired of being in thors shadow, That was the main thing Clint had hear Loki mutter to himself.

With that Hodr smiled again before turning and calling out for Thor. The golden child came quickly, taking the blind males hand and leading him out of the dungeon to leave Loki to suffer alone.

The venom continued to fall through the night and into the day, the poison scaring his eyes and leaving them blurry. Footsteps made him turn his head and he smiled when he realized it was sigyn.

"Si-si-" he tried to call out but his throat was raw. Said women had a large bowl in her hands and as she slipped into the cell tears made their way down his face.

"I'm here my friend." She murmurs, walking to the snake and holding the bowl up to catch the venom. Loki sighed brokenly, hand reaching up as much as possible in search for his friend.

"I-I didn't-" He croaks.

"I know you hadn't purposely killed him." She answers and he cries out in relief. They stay in silence after that, Loki trying to get his breath back as sigyn collects the venom.

"I'm sorry." She murmurs and pulls the bowl away, turning to the side and dumping it over the drain. Loki cries out as the poison starts it's steady dripping back to his face. Soon the bowl is back, helping Loki heal as the poison is moved away from its target. The next few weeks pass this way and loki just thinks and thinks and thinks.

She'll end up like baldur, one way or another. I can't have that. I'm sorry sigyn.

When sigyn moves away again, Loki cries out, cursing at her for not doing her job. Clint watches as The young women's heart seems to shatter the more Loki berates her with his words.

"You are nothing to me! You fail at doing the simplest of tasks!" Loki shouted. Clint knew that the words hurt him as much as they hurt sigyn.

"If I'm nothing to you then I shouldn't even try to help." She snaps, pouring the collected poison over his face before fleeing as tears trailed down her face. Loki screamed, choking on the venom as it goes down his mouth and nose. The last two days of his punishment are hell as Loki feels like he's dying inside and out.

Frigga was the one who came for him, magicing away the snake before unchaining her son. He doesn't move and she frowns, teleporting the two of them up to his room. Loki lays in his bed, face almost unrecognizable through all of the scarred tissue.

Frigga summons a bowl of soup for her son, kneeling besides his head and pouring it into his mouth.

Clint just watched crying for the youngest prince. He truly could never have anything great...


	9. The Other Three

After baldurs death loki drifted away from his family and no longer went anywhere near the citizens. Clint saw the once charismatic prince slowly turn dark and abandon any hope he had of trying to impress his his father, mother and brother. They had all left him and taken hodr's side.

Clint watched loki mature and soon he had three more children. fenrir the wolf was taken and thrown in the dungeon only after a week. Jörmungandr was thrown into the Midgardian sea and hela, his sweet little girl, was abandoned in Nifilheim where her body slowly deteriorated. He had lost three parts of his heart and no one was their to console him this time. Frigga had said nothing when she say her son slowly fall into a depression at the absence of his children. Unable to visit any of them no matter how hard he tried.

"Brother!" Thor boomed and loki groan, grasping the hair besides his temples. He had spent all of last night drinking ale and other alcoholic beverages

"What is it you oaf?" He whimpers.

"Father has told me to come collect you. He says we are all heading to the village today." Thor states, moving besides his brother and shaking him by the shoulder.

"The villagers hate me thor, I rather not go anywhere away from the castle." Loki complains before yelling at thor grabs his leg and yanks him down. He had been wearing a small green shirt like tunic that covered his entire arm but as he was yanked down the shirt pulled up, some scars now visible. Thor's eyes narrow on them slightly before loki makes them disappear.

"Loki what-"

"Old battle scars Thor. Do not ask." He lie easily, standing up to change clothing. He puts on a long green shirt with golden stitching. A strange gold piece around his head pointing down between his eyes. When he's finally done thor rolls his eyes before leading his brother out.

One they reach the throne room they both bow to their parents before joining their sides.

"We will be going on horse back through the village-" Odin starts and Loki's throat tightens. He knew what it meant, his son would be ridiculed again as he's used as an everyday mule for Odin. Frigga notices her sons downing over the fact.

"Let's go on foot this time dear." She states. Odin narrows his eyes at her but she simply smiles.

"So be it." He sighs before the family is leaving the palace, two guards on each end. The warriors three and sif all snicker once loki passes them. Thor give them a glare, attempting to stand up for his brother unaware that the damage was done. He knew that those scars couldn't have been from battle, they were to precise but he went along with Loki's lie so that he could pretend his brother was happy.

"Smile loki." Odin snaps and Loki flinches, the smallest of smiles appearing on his face; it was so obviously forced that it seemed like his face was going to crack.

"He should be locked up still." "Used the younger to kill the older" "monster"

Loki shrunk back at the names directed to him, 'monster' hurting the most. They continue to walk further into town and Loki had slowly migrated to be besides Frigga.

"Mother May I please go home?" He whimpered, head hung between his shoulders.

"I... Alright my son." She states. Loki attempts to leave but Odin notices.

"Loki. We are not finished yet." He yells.

"Father, mother said I can go to my room so that is where I'm headed. I am finished here." He adds, trying to walk again.

"This is one reason why you'll never be king. You do not care about your people." He scoffs. The argument gets heated quickly after that, Clint unable to follow. Names and curses thrown back and fourth, the citizens getting angry as Loki disrespects their king.

"You were always such an ungrateful child! I've done everything for you, tried to make you happy-!"

"Happy!? You say you try to make me happy yet you throw your own flesh and blood away! Fenrir is gone, hela is decomposing in helheim, Jörmungandr dumped in the midgardian ocean and sleipnir you rise like a common mule! Those are my-"

"Enough!" Odin booms, cutting Loki off. Frigga eyes twitch slightly before she's looking towards Thor. He was shaking his head but once he noticed his mothers gaze he looked away.

"Silence him your majesty!" "He should not go unpunished!" The people were yelling, begging for Loki to revive yet another punishment. He was looking at everyone frantically now.

Please no, gods no...

"Guards! Bring Loki to the throne room. Do not let him leave your sight." Loki was dragged away, brought into the palace before being chained to a chair.

~

Clint gaged and looked away, unable to watch as Loki stays frozen while Thor suture his lips shut. That was the punishment the people of Asgard agreed upon. Frigga has been asked to use her magic to paralyze Loki and she agreed for his sake, knowing that if she refused the village sorcerer would be the one to do it and he would show no mercy; using the most painful paralyzing spell she could think of.

He watched as Thor was handed the string, his teammate bending down besides his brother and shoving the needle through his lips. He wouldn't even look loki in the eyes as he did it. Once it was finished Frigga used her magic to make him sleep, having the guards then carry him to his room.

Now she was kneeling besides his bed, crying into her hands as her son sleeps peacefully. When he wakes he starts to cry, the pain in his lips unbearable.

"I'm sorry my son." Frigga cries before taking the pain away. Loki stared at his mother then and she put her hand against his cheek. She cried and cried, her heart aching for her youngest. He grabbed her hand, squeezing it in an attempt to calm her. She presses a kiss to his forehead.

"You should learn how to eat until you get the string removed." She says and helps Loki sit up, teaching him a spell on how to make his food shrink to easily get between his lips before regrowing it inside his mouth.

~

Night came quickly and soon loki is sneaking out of his room, hurrying past guards and wandering citizens. Clint watches as Loki walks into the stables, a hooded robe aiding to his disguise. Loki stops in front of sleipnir stall, holding out sugar cubes for his son. Sleipnir nears before catching a whiff of the hooded figure. He snorts and rears back slightly. Loki's hand falls to his side before slipping into his pocket to deposit the sugar. With a sigh through his nose his hands come up and Loki is pushing the hood away. Sleipnir rears back again at the sight of his mother before him.

Loki's smiles sadly, as much as he can, and his son shoved his face into the crook of his neck, whining softly. Loki strokes the sides of his face, fingers going underneath the bridal and scratching the skin there. He leans back slightly and puts his hand in the center of his sons face, closing his eyes and focusing.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there the day they saddled you. I love you sleipnir, so very much." He tells his telepathically. Sleipnir neighs sadly, nuzzling his mother again.

"I cannot stay long, I'll be punished for leaving the castle if I'm caught. Stay strong my son, for one day you roam the wilderness of Asgard freely." Loki promises before running his hand down his sons face to his nods. He takes the sugar out again and sleipnir takes it this time before nudging his mother's head as he walks away. One more sad smile is given to him before the hood is pulled back up and he disappears into the night.


	10. Battles

The string had been removed for almost two years but loki very rarely talked now, using gestures and other small things to communicate if it wasn't needed to vocalize anything. He visited sleipnir more often, pretty much whenever he got the chance. His son had forgiven him after that first fateful day of Loki's lips being sewed shut. That simple thought made Clint's blood boil, who does that to their own kid?

"Loki! Brother, come!" Thor booms, not even bothering to knock on the door. Loki sighs but get out of bed, following his brother out of the room.

"Where are we going?" He questions.

"To battle!" He exclaims and without further hesitation pulls Loki into the armory.

~

The battle raging on around him was pointless. There was no true battle plan, Thor has rushed in headfirst like the imbecile He is. He swings the sword in his hand around, cutting through the enemies armor easily. Loki had a spell that prevented all from seeing him, allowing him to avoid the battle all together. Loki takes a step forward when he sees that Thor was getting surrounded. 

"Imbecile!" Loki growls and removes the cover, racing into battle with his hands flaring a green smoke. His magic destroys the enemies easily, ripping through the weak armor and then through the strange aliens flesh. Thor cheers when he sees Loki join, not noticing the way his brother had turned paler then normal at the sight of blood.

The battle is over quickly because of Loki and Thor cheers, stating that they should all go share some ale or something, Clint really wasn't paying attention anymore.

"Thor next time you decide to start a battle plan beforehand! You could've killed yourself or your teammates!" Loki scolds But Thor just rolls his eyes.

"No one has gotten hurt Loki, the battle is over and we are the victors. Now, either take a cup or go back to your room." That caused the others to laugh, mocking the youngest prince as he turned and left.

This happens over and over again, Loki scolding Thor about how they could've been killed after as Thor drinks ale. He ignored his brothers words over and over, proving to Loki just how much Thor truly cared for him. If he wouldn't even thank him or at least apologize for his idiocy then why should Loki even try?

Clint knew exactly why, it was the way Odin would put him down. The way he'd always belittle Loki for not rushing into battle like Thor, for not being more like Thor. Clint was getting tired of all the memories, so some of the battles blurred together. Loki was a god, he's lived longer then Clint could ever wish to imagine.

Then Clint was standing besides a tree, Loki rushing into battle to protect Thor. There was fear in his eyes, a raw emotion so strong Clint was startled. He was using a lot of energy straight away, lashing out at enemy after enemy. He was getting weaker by the second, using so much power that the color started to drain from his already pale face.

Someone gets the upper hand and a sword is brought down on his shoulder, barely piercing his armor but enough to hit the skin underneath. Loki cries out and his magic erupts, throwing everything within feet of Loki away. His peace doesn't last long as someone charges, he jumps to the side and he startled a snack. The creature rears up and sinks it's teeth into his unprotected arm. He screams again and his magic erupts for the second time, ending the battle with its blast. Thor turns in time to see Loki fall down, the snake that had bitten him slithering away.

~

He wants to die when he's back in the healing chambers, his body overly hot. Clint could feel his pain to a degree. He could hear his thoughts as he lay unconscious on a bed. The healers keep him alive, using their limited magic in their attempts to heal him. Clint was able to see his surrounding due to Loki's magic. If it weren't for friggas presence Loki's magic would've lashed out and attacked the healers in their attempts to help him.

With a groan Loki wakes, three weeks since the battle. He sits up, body still drained and exhausted.

"Brother!" Thor exclaims, startling his mother awake.

"Thor, lower your voice. Loki is still injured." Frigga scold and Thor rolls his eyes.

"We won, thanks to you!" Thor says proudly.

"I almost died Thor." Loki hisses and he scoffs, rolling his eyes. Clint stands back and watches as Thor gets mad, saying how loki was able to survive the energy drain and then the venom then he was good.

They go back to battles and loki gets fatally injured half of all the times they go but Thor never learns. He doesn't care.


	11. The monster parents tell thier kids about at night

Loki wants his pain to end. Wants to be with his daughter in helheim; his son who was thrown into the midgaurdian ocean, his oldest who was being used as a mule to carry around the king. His youngest who was locked away somewhere in the dungeons of Asgard because he had been a threat to Thor.

Clint well, he had never felt so bad for someone. Loki has never deserved to be treated like trash by everyone he knew besides his mother and the few friends he had. But then they left him, his mother was a bit more reserved then before. Clint wants Loki's suffering to end just as much as Loki did.

The memories had gotten darker, more scars to Loki's arms wrists and thighs that he covered up. More time Odin brought him down, More times he's had to save Thor. Loki was tired of it all. He knew any thought of the throne being handed to him was gone, Odin would obviously give it to thor. The Buffon would have them all killed but what did it matter? Thor was better, stronger, smarter then he was.

The memories also started to blur now, clint didn't understand that as well. Voices would echo, cries would cut off, everything seemed to just get worse.

It was another one of those battles, people were big and blue and it was strange. Clint could see Loki and he seemed to have stopped. Then the memory was changing and Loki seemed darker, his skin a different shade.

Then he had turned his back on Odin, breathing heavy as he held something the seemed to glow.

"Am I cursed?" His voice rang out.

"No."

"Then what am I?" It was all echoing now.

"Your my son" Loki finally turned.

"What more then that?" He seems to whimper, voice strangely full and unwavering. Clint looked closer, Loki's skin had seemed to be darker now and his eyes seemed to glow. His skin went back to its normal pale color as he walked forward.

"The casket wasn't the only thing you took that day, was it?"

"No." Odin said softly, much softer then the first yell. Clint was afraid for Loki as he stood in front of the man that has done nothing but abuse and push him aside like he was nothing.

"In the aftermath of the battle I went into the temple and I found a baby. Small, for a giants offspring. Abandoned, suffering, left to die. Laufey's son."

"Laufeys son?"

"Yes."

"Why?" Loki questions.

"You were knee deep in jotun blood, why would you take me?"

"You were an innocent child..."

"No, you took me for a purpose. What was it?" Odin stayed silent after that and it just grew Loki's need for answers.

"Tell me!" He shouts and it echoes through the great halls so loudly Clint has to cover his ears for a moment.

"I thought we could unite our kingdoms one day..." Clint didn't catch the rest of what Odin said, focused on the distressed god, "bring about peace, through you"

"What?" Loki asked softly, so quietly that it could barely be heard; a total opposite of the last thing he's said.

"Those plans no longer matter" Odin dismisses.

"So I am no more then an-another stolen relic? Locked up here until you might have use of me?"

"Don't twist my words-"

"You could've told me what I was from the beginning! Why didn't you!?"

"Your my son, I wanted only to protect you from the truth." Odin states calmly, perhaps in an attempt to calm him but it seemed to backfire.

"Why-because I-i-I-I'm the monster who parents tell their children about at night?!" His anger was coming back, Odin seemed to be panicking.

"You know it all makes sense now, why you favored thor all these years because no matter how much you claim to love me you could never have a frost giant sitting on the throne for Asgard!" Loki had walked straight up to Odin, standing over him now as he seemed to become weaker. Loki stops, staring at the man as he lays on the ground falling into Odin sleep.

"Guards!" He shouts, sitting down and trying to get Odin to wake. Clint watched as the memory became fizzier, darker and more unstable. He didn't understand what was happening or what he was going to see next.


	12. Going down

The memories were getting worse in quality, fizzier staticky and echoy. Odin has fell into Odin sleep, Thor was banished to earth and Loki was... Clint didn't even know what Loki was up to; He couldn't tell. Everything seemed darker.

Thor was confronting loki, Odin was somewhere nearby and they attacked. Loki didn't seem to be trying to much, He wasn't using his magic. Everything seemed to speed up and then Loki was holding onto Gungnir, hanging off the bridge.

"I never wanted the throne!" Echoes as the image blurred, "I only ever wanted to be your equal!"

Odin walks to the two and he says something. Everything stills, looks face blank and empty. Then he was falling, releasing the staff and falling into the dark void below him.

"No, Loki" Odin's voice stated emptily, echoing as everything seemed to fade as Loki fell.

~

Loki was chained now, weird monster aliens whipping him and every time he screamed they'd go harder. His was almost naked, the only piece of clothing he wore covered his crotch and parts of his ass. The chains around his wrists prevented him from using his magic but He didn't seem to care anymore. Clint gagged, stomach twisting at the sight. 

Clint could hear Loki's thoughts, desperately wishing his mother was here, or Thor or Sigyn or his children. He wanted this all to stop and when the torture became to much he'd call out for them in pain only to be gagged. He was barley ever fed true food, other times it would be a strange slip that didn't seem to even be edible.

One day he was forced to his feet, clothes shoved onto him as he's given a scepter. The very scepter he had when he fell through the portal. This was the day they truly broke him. The day he absolutely gave up. No more screams of pain or pleading for his family or mercy.

"You are to open- within Midgard- return-do this- you-free" the voice cut off but Clint understood, at least he thinks so. Loki nods robotically, hands gripping the staff tightly. Then the alien did something to him and his usually bright green eyes darkened, they tinted blue before he was falling through another portal and Clint jolted awake, looking around the room in the building Loki had turned into his base.

He was alone and then his stomach tightened and he turned over the edge of the bed, emptying its contents onto the floor. He trembles, what he had seen... no one deserves to be thrown aside like Loki had. No one deserves to be treated like Loki had. To be stuck in the shadow of their brother. To be forced to do the bidding of someone else.

Loki wasn't the true villain here, whatever those alien things were were the villains.. Clint had to get back to the others, he had to tell them this! Loki shouldn't be punished when all this is over.

Loki was still bleeding under his armor, or at least he had whatever injuries wrapped up. Clint paused, he could control his own body a bit more. The tesseracts hold has lessened, either it was purposeful or accidental he didn't care. The door to the room opens and Loki walks in. Now he could see that the god was holding up a façade. He trembled slightly, legs taking stiff steps.

"My hawk" He murmurs, handing Clint a tray of food.

"How long have I been asleep sir?" Clint questions.

"A day or two. When you are rested up meet me in the main entrance. We are heading to Germany soon." With that he turns and leaves, Clint watching after him. He glances down at the tray, it held steamed vegetables and mashed potatoes. He eats slowly as to not cause another bout of vomiting before he stands, taking a few shaky steps before exiting the room with his bow in his hands.

"Sir... what I saw..." he speaks when he sees Loki. The god was staring out a window.

"Do you really wish to end this all?" Clint questions. Loki flinches, his grip tightening.

"No my hawk. I will not stop until we succeed." Loki turns around but his eyes were wide. Clint licked his lips, the tesseracts influence made him want to care for his boss before but now it wasn't only it's influence. Loki was a scared kid, he wanted to go home. He wanted to see his mother, apologize to his brother. He just wanted to be happy.

He wanted his suffering to end, one way or another.

"Come, we must prepare. The doctor said he needs, I'm not even sure what it is." Loki sighs as we start to walk.

"Sir... why did you turn blue?" He stiffens at that.

"That my fledgling, is something you should try to forget." He hums.

Clint quiets after that, watching his boss as they walked.

"Sir, I'm worried about you." Clint murmurs and Loki laughs.

"Your a first." He hums and Clint frowns.

"Your mother worried"

"Before the incident with baldr... after that it was never the same. You should've noticed." He says quietly.

"Thor cared..."

"Maybe, He was a moron." Clint could tell that Loki missed his brother. Those simple words revealing so much but at the same time to little.

"He was always so much more important." Loki mumbles, watching his feet as they walked. Clint moves a bit closer, let their shoulders brush. Loki glances at him with his dull eyes and smiles slightly. Clint gives the smallest of smiles in return.

"Come" they turn, walking back to Loki's room.

"You are important hawk." He says softly when we enter the room.

"Your one of the best that I have here." He sat down with a wince, hesitantly putting the staff aside.

"Sir... are you injured?" Clint questions, interrupting whatever he was going to say. Loki doesn't look at him and Clint moves closer.

"Sir... you fell four days ago from the portal. You were tortured before then. Please, if you are still hurt let me help you." I murmur and he nods, flicking his wrist and causing most of the armor on his torso and up. The sight made Clint gag but he moves forward, taking the bandages off of Loki's body. They stick to some parts but the god never reacts.

With another flick of his wrist disinfectant and more bandages appear. Clint takes them and instantly gets to work on Loki's body.


	13. Every touch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I try to update every/every other Sunday unless I have drafts already ready :)

Every time Clint presser down Loki would flinch, the cuts and gashes along his body barely starting to scab over.

Clint knew that the injuries shouldn't be as bad as they were, Loki had an increased healing factor! How could it still be so fresh, so raw?

His eyes traced the strange scars that followed the base of his neck and down his spine, it was like a black line that pushed the skin in slightly.

Clint presses down a bit harder and Loki whimpered softly. Once most of the blood was wiped off and the wounds cleaned Clint started to wrap his body with gauze, once he finished he stands and moved to the front to face Loki.

"Sir, have you eaten anything?" Clint questions as Loki watches his with dull eyes.

"That is not of importance fledgling-"

"You are weak and injured, food is a must to help your body heal." Clint argues and Loki flinches at the tone.

"I'll be back, stay here." Loki nods and Clint stands, quickly exiting the room to hunt down food.

~

With Clint's prodding Loki stayed in his room, only leaving to use the bathroom and check up on what they were working on. He would stay in bed and eat whatever Clint brought him, Of course the more rational part of Clint's mind told him he could drug Loki and try to escape; everyday the tesseracts hold over him lessened more and more.

When Clint arrived to the room he was surprised to find Loki staring out the window. When he turned his eyes were greener then Clint's ever seen, at least in person. That green was instantly hidden by blue and Clint held back a sigh.

"We will be heading to Germany soon. You will be given the other retinal scanner to enter the vault." Loki explains and Clint nods but it feels like he's holding something back.

Loki walks up to Clint, taking his head into his hands. He runs his thumb along Clint's cheek, eyes lidded.

"Tell me about SHEILD." Loki murmurs, holding Clint closer the necessary

"SHEILD stands for Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division. It was founded after World War II by Howard Stark, Peggy Carter and Colonel Chester Phillips And is now run by nick fury." Clint starts to explain, voice on autopilot. He continues to say more and more about the organization he works for, spilling secrets about himself, Natasha, Steve and tony. The moment he mentions their adopted son Peter Loki seems to perk up.

"How old is the child?" He questions, sitting on the bed. His knuckles had turned white where they gripped his staff.

"He was orphaned after his parents and his aunt and uncle passed away when he was barley a toddler. He was adopted by the couple and is very intelligent." Clint explains, he understood why Loki would be curious about the child. He never got to care and love his own.

Clint sits down besides Loki and lets his voice tamper off, watching his boss with curious eyes. Loki turns his head to look at him, his strange asgardian armor shuffling with him.

"You turned blue Sir." Clint blurts and Loki flinches, looking away.

"Why?" Clint asks next, the atmosphere in the room tense.

"That, That is none of your concern hawk." Loki snaps before he stands and exits the room. Clint stays in the dark, staring after Loki.

~

A day later they were all together again, going over the plan for when they arrive in Germany. They needed the scanner to be finished and then they would be off. Clint had yet to come in contact with Loki after he had asked his question. He had tried to go back through his memories, well they weren't exactly his, they were Loki's, to figure out what had happened to the Asgardian but the memories were blurrier now.

He would be leaving in a day or two to get the scan and they would be going separate ways. He knew that SHEILD would be ready for them.

Now he had a bowl of soup and was searching for his boss, he wasn't in his room so he was a bit nervous. Already out of spots to search Clint turns and makes his way up to the roof. He holds back a sigh of relief when he sees the familiar outline. Loki was trembling but it was a warm night.

Clint doesn't say anything and steps up to his side, causing the god to flinch and side step away.

"Thank you hawk, go back inside to prepare." He states and Clint doesn't argue, turning and leaving the god on his own.


	14. Kneel

Steve and tony watched the man as he stood tall, or at least he tried to. He was shaking, trembling and white knuckled as he held onto his staff.

"Tony, step back." Steve states, walking forward. He stepped back a bit, pointing the staff at Steve.

"Hey, easy there calm down-"

"There is no reason to calm, you will all kneel to me." His eyes glinted brightly in the light from the jet. 

"We will But can you relax? My names steve, what's yours?" He continues, walking closer to the obviously hurting man. He was pal, face gaunt and gauze just peaking near his neck.

He narrows his eyes, retracting his staff closer to his body as if he was protecting it, "Loki. You shall kneel to me steve. Then I will rule Midgard and finally return my staff." He spat out the name, hands tightening when he spoke of the weapon.

"Okay, Loki, who do you have to return the staff to?" Steve continued to slowly approach and every step caused the other man to flinch. Tony didn't understand what his husband was doing and stared in stunned silence.

"Him, the one that will come with my army. I must, I must return it!"

"Okay, you'll return it yeah? We can help you return it."

"Help?"

"Yeah, you can come with us and we'll help you. Bring you to a nice room and a good bed. You can stay with the staff until he comes and return it then."

"Nice bed?" He shook his head and his eyes brightened for a moment, "I can make my own you incompetent fool!" Loki swing but Steve dodged easily, stepping to the other side and holding his palms towards Loki.

"Yes, but what about a nice bath? Clean bandages and good food? We can clean your staff for you and make everything nice for when he comes-" Loki flinched at the mention of the staff he held, practically jumped back at the him.

"He will get mad, I cannot let you take the staff from me!"

"We will give it back, we promise Loki, but how does a nice soft bed with a bunch of pillows and blankets sound? Fresh food and water?"

"Bunch of pillows?" He asks softly, voice trembling just like his own body. He starts to sag slightly, hunch in on himself as Steve continued to talk about what Loki would get if he came with them. His grip on the staff even relaxed, allow blood to easily enter his fingers again.

"Warm and nice and we'll take care of your staff until he comes for it, how does that sound?"

"I have to give it back! He'll, he'll get mad." Loki whimpers, curling into himself a bit more as his wall broke down and he showed how truly broken he was.

"My people need me!" He snarls, stepping back.

"Tell is where they are and we can help them, we can bring them to you."

"And my hawk?" Loki whimpered.

"Yes, even him. Just give me the staff and we'll take good care of it and you." Steve promised and Loki dropped the staff, watching as it clanked near his feet and down the stairs.

"Warm bed." Loki murmurs, his armor sizzling out of view as Steve grabbed the staff and handed it to tony.

"Yes, a warm bed and good food. Clean you up and let you sleep, we promise." Steve stepped up to him and took Loki's arm. He practically sagged against him, knees going out below him. Steve grunted when he caught the god, surprised by how light he was.

Steve helped Loki back up to his feet, leading him to the jet as clouds started to gather above them. Loki's eyes dropped, a dull color as he leans his head against the captain.

"Sit right here, okay?" Loki nodded his head as Steve helped him settle into one of the chairs.

"Drink this." He said softly, opening a water bottle and handing it to the trembling man. He practically swallows the water, quiet until Steve tried to walk away. Loki whimpered slightly and reached his hand out to the man. He was surrounded by strangers, of course he would be afraid. He no longer had his staff nor enough energy to connect to his own magic, he was just tired. He wanted to sleep and never hear his voice whisper in his head again.

Steve sat down besides Loki and the god was quiet, head hanging as he stared at his feet. The staff called out to him from wherever it was in the metal contraption. A soft whirr reaches Loki's ears and it tried to pull him to sleep but he wouldn't let it.

Unknowing to Loki steve had pulled his phone out to talk with the others, explaining why he decided to step closer to the deranged man.

The shaking, the wild look in his eyes, the white knuckles and pale face all showed signs of fear, of being forced into something he didn't exactly want to do, Of torture.

Loki was practically limp besides him, the maniac energy from before all but gone as he tremors ran up his spine. He was almost asleep until the jet rocked due to turbulence, his eyes snapped open then.

He practically jumped out of his skin when thunder struck, face turning even more pale then before.

"Afraid of a little lightning?"

"I'm not overly fond of what follows." He murmurs, gripping the seat tightly when something lands on the roof and causes the plan to jump down.


	15. Thor

Loki's world seemed to stop when the back of the jet was ripped open, he didn't think he could breath when Thor came storming in. He embraced death when throw threw him out, wishing that the golden child would let him fall and slam into the ground into a pancake of flesh and bone.

But it doesn't happen, Thor is grabbing hold of the god and tumbling to the ground with him. Loki doesn't hear what he screams in his face, body limp as fresh pain blooms from the wounds already on his person.

The world was quickly darkening but Thor would shake him when his head started to loll. Thor finally released him, shoving Loki backwards and causing him to trip and fall. Tears spring up in Loki's eyes and he doesn't stop them from falling, head bowed to hide his face as much as possible.

"Pathetic brother. You are coming home this instant! The allfather wont let you go without punishment this time! You have truly done it-" Thor stops when he notices that Loki was shaking slightly, head bowed in a way that was unlike his prideful brother. Thor tried to step forward but then a man of metal shoots down from the sky and straight into him. Loki Let's out a fearful scream, turning and scrambling away as much as possible.

How could he let this happen? How could he let some mortals take away his weapon? He needed the staff and it needed to be returned!

Loki's head throbbed painfully and he fell, rolling off the dirt and onto a rock ledge where he curled up on himself. He was afraid and trembling, unable to get in a proper breath as it felt like someone was trying to burst out of his skull. The voice of the titan just a whisper without the aid of the staff.

Curled into a fetal position, Loki gently rocked himself back and fourth as the two men battle a few feet away. The sounds of tread being destroyed and repulsers powering up kept Loki curled up, to afraid to look. Then Thor was summoning his lighting, it was so bright that Loki could see it through his clothes eyes. The two continue to brawl, the volume of it changing as they move closer then further away from where Loki cowered.

He didn't want to get hurt anymore, he wanted to sleep. He wanted his hawk and a bed and to return his staff.

Someone lands close to him and Loki flinches, curling even tighter around himself that his spine protests. They don't stop by him and are rushing to the two brutes. The fighting stops for a moment after something clanged loudly. No noise arises before there seems to be a scream and a large bang that destroys trees and causes Loki to go temporarily deaf.

He doesn't hear his own whimpers, nor the sound of footsteps as the three move over to him. Someone touches his shoulder and Loki tries to bolt, tears rushing down his face as his body aches. He doesn't get far and just manages to injure himself more.

"Loki." He hears his brother snap and it causes him to shrink into himself, at least his hearing returned. The two men are arguing as Loki starts rocking himself, muttering words that made no sense put together.

"Loki? Hey, buddy, can you stand for me?" The blond mortal, Steve was his name he thinks, questions. Loki doesn't answer, letting his eyes close as he prays for this to be over. For Thor to slam his hammer against his head to end it all.

Arms are gently gripping him under his armpits, the mortal machine descending from the sky to swallow them up inside it. The two humans help him stagger into the back, arguing with Thor about something. The thing closes and it's just Loki and the others.

He just wants to sleep, maybe they could bring him his hawk is he does as they ask...


	16. Sleep

There's confusion when the jet lands, yelling and arguing as tony and Steve leave to talk to someone. Leaving Natasha to help Loki stand, gently guiding him out of the machine to where Steve waits. Loki flinches as the noise doubles in volume, staggering alongside nay as he's handed over to Steve who then leads him through the building.

"Are you in any pain Loki?" Steve questions softly as he opens the door to some room. During their walk the super solider had noticed the way he staggered and limped along, eyes downcast and face blank. In the room were beds and other types of medical machines that Loki had no clue what they did.

When Loki doesn't answer Steve sighs and leads him to one of the small beds in the room, leaving Steve to grimace when he touches something wet while helping Loki into the bed.

"Can you change your clothes Loki?"

"I would like to sleep." The man murmurs.

"You can, But first let someone look you over. You must be in some kind of pain." Steve mumbles, glancing down at his hand which was covered in blood.

"I would like to sleep." Loki snaps, glaring at Steve.

"I promise you can, but you need to be checked out first." Steve soothes, backing up to a closet without turning around. He reaches in and pulls out a hospital gown before striding back over to Loki.

"If you change into this we will double the pillows for your bed." He bargains and watches as the god licks his lips before nodding hesitantly. After taking the gown, Steve backs away to give Loki privacy. Soft whimpers of pain and the sound of clothing moving around is all he hears for a few minutes before silence.

Steve turns around and sends Loki a small smile, attempting to seem friendly. The man had changed into the gown, head hanging as he stared at his armor that now lay in a heap on the floor. The smell of iron was stronger now as there was less clothing to cover its source. Steve's eyes focus on the slowly growing red splotches along Loki's back and sides. Besides that he could see gauze wrapped around most of his body.

Steve walks over, frowning at the flinches that follow each soft thump of his steps, and gently helps the man sit back on the bed just as the doors open. Loki jolts back, summoning a weapon with his magic and letting out what could only be described as a growl. Looking over his shoulder, Steve watches as Banner slowly approaches with his hands raised, palm towards Loki.

"Loki this is a friend," Steve tried to call him down and the just narrows his eyes.

"He's not here to hurt you, he's here to make you feel better. Then we can go to that bed you wanted." Steve explains, adding that last bit in as an extra attempt to calm the god. Loki's hand shakes as the weapon disappears and he drops it into his lap.

"I would like my bed." He states again and Steve sits on the floor in front of the distraught god.

"And you will get it but let my friend look over you first." Steve says, voice hard to try and make the other man understand that he was serious.

"Fine." Loki spits and then Bruce slowly walks over.

"The mindless beast, makes play he's still a man." Loki chuckles, eyes sparking with recognition, "from my birds memories"

Steve's eyes widen and Bruce flinches But continues forward.

"Why do you fight the beast when embracing it will free you?" He continues and Steve stands, the quick movements startling the god and causing him to jump back.

"No more talking Loki." The captain states and the god narrows his eyes, a full body shudder causing him to let out a small gasp of pain. He doesn't speak and allows Bruce to look over him, blue-green eyes watching the man as he moves about.

By the time the exams is over loki is trembling and his eyes were stuck half lidded. He doesn't even notice when Bruce and Steve step closer to the door to converse.

"He had multiple broken bones, some are set properly but others healed badly. The nursing on his body is extensive and from the small conversation I had with the other Asgardian, any wound or injury should be healed by now. He will need sleep and lots of food as he is extremely malnourished." Steve nods as Bruce continues to speak.

"I had added a sedative into the IV i managed to put him on so it'll be easier to get him into a chair and into that bed he's been asking for." He finishes and Steve nods, taking the wheelchair Bruce hands him and moving back over to the other, paler man.


	17. Impossible

"I do not understand why I cannot take my brother home!" Thor booms, gripping his hammer tightly. He was in a room on the hellicarrier with all the other avengers, minus banner and Rogers. Fury was glaring at him with a narrowed eye and the others sat in silence.

"You cannot take him home because we need to fix the things he's messed up-" Natasha starts only to be interrupted by tony.

"What agent Romanov is trying to say is that your brother is stuck here until she gets her hawk back-" he's cut off when the door opens for the other two men to enter. Coulson straightens up quickly upon seeing Steve.

"How is he?"

"Drugged and asleep." Bruce answers as Steve heads straight to the other blond.

"What were you thinking!?" He snaps, ready to tear into this man, "yanking an injured and traumatized man out of a plane!?"

"Calm yourself mortal." Thor growls, holding his hammer up to Steve, he just bats it away like a fly.

"Loki had multiple broken bones, bruising and scars all along his body. We took longer then normal to photograph the evidence as he is in an unstable mindset and would have most likely lashed out at anyone else trying to see his body." Bruce speaks quickly, Steve getting tony to help set the tv up. A moment after turning on the first picture loads onscreen, it was a picture of one of Loki's bones pressing against the skin surrounded by a dark bruise.

More photos similar to that one appeared and they got progressively worse as uglier wounds made themself known to the people in the room.

"It is all a glamour," Thor scoffs, "my brother is a gifted sorcerer and his skills reach no bounds."

"You can't fake wounds to this extent. Nor can you pull off the act of them actually hurting." Bruce states, glaring at Thor.

"My brother-"

"Is am injured and traumatized man who is not working under his own options." Steve states.

"Thor, what color are your brothers eyes?"

"Green."

"His eyes are green blue in the pictures." Tony points out and Thor finally stops to truly take in the photos.

"I-it is but a trick-"

"That's close to the same color Barton's eyes are." Nat speaks, causing everyone to quite down for her.

"Just a bit greener, so he must not be fully under control like the others."

-

Loki's mind was foggy, it felt like it was stuffed with cotton. He could feel the tendril that connected his mind to the tesseract and the other pulse in anger at the fact that he wasn't doing anything. Other tendrils connected him to the people under the cubes control. If he felt inclined to he could look into his hawks mind, his hawks and the scientist and anyone he so chose too.

He didn't. He didn't want to be connected with them anymore, he wasn't their leader.

The tendril throbbed now, sending an almost blindingly pain through his system.

He wouldn't obey anymore, unless the other decided to double his control, loki would allow the pain to increase until he passed out. Then, perhaps, the pain would get so bad it'll kill him. He doesn't know how long he stayed sitting there for the avengers to come back, for Steve to bring him to the bed he promised.

He doesn't care, not really. The cot he sat on was more then comfortable for his aching ass. He didn't dare lay down yet, not wanting to make the lashes on his back throb any worse then they already were.

He startled badly when the door opens with a loud click in the quiet room, eyes darting to the new comer before focusing on his knees.

It was the widow, Natasha Romanov, and his hawk had quite a relationship with her. Many memories such as the incident he referred to simply as "Budapest".

She doesn't speak as she walks over to him, crouching on the floor in an attempt to make eye contact. He doesn't look at her, eyes staying glued to his knee.

"Loki." She speaks with a weirdly gentle voice. It makes him shiver, from his hawks memories he knew that voice was used for frightened children. For when she tried to sweet talk someone with kindness.

"Loki, were going to ask you a few questions more before bringing you to your room to sleep. How does that sound?" She continues with that stupid coddling voice.

"I am no infant." He snarls, slumping forward in an attempt to intimidate her, "pathetic mortal. I do not need to be coddled like I'm a mere hundred year old invalid toddler."

She watched him with a blank face, hiding her emotions behind the mask as she studies him.

"Say something woman!" He snaps, tired and uncomfortable of the blank, calculating space. He didn't trust it, his heavy breathing pointing to his anxiety.

"I'm sorry loki. Now can I ask you a few questions?" She says, voice normal. Using same tone she uses for Clint. It calms him and his beating heart, his hands tightening around the fabric he wore.

"Bed." Loki mumbles, eyes moving away from the spider in front of him.

"Just three questions loki."

"Fine." He grinds out, teeth clenching.

"What happened on your home planet?"

"No."

"Loki please answer the question."

"No."

"Loki-"

"I was a stolen relic that Odin wanted to use! Is that what you want to hear you pathetic mortal!?" He snarls, jumping to his face and causing Natasha to stand properly.

"I was thrown aside for the golden child and taught to hate myself! Is that what you want to know!? Then when Odin fell into the Odin sleep, Thor was banished and I was forced to play king! For once I thought I could do but then the pathetic golden boy came back! He threw everything out of order and I realized-" he stopped to breath heavily, "I realized there was no need for me to still be there so I let go. To bad I couldn't die correctly!" He all but whispers that last part, trembling where he stood.

"I would like to go to a bed now." He murmurs.

"Two more questions-" loki lunges, knocking into Natasha and throwing her to the ground, surprising the widow and allowing him to get one up on her.

"No more questions!" He screams, tears cascading down his face as the connection throbs with his emotions. He shoves the heels of his palms to his eyes, squeezing them shut as he tries to block out the multiple whispers that wouldn't just shut up.

"Ok, ok no more questions-" the door opens just as Loki collapses to his knees, groaning as he head continues to throb.

"Leave me alone, leave me alone..." He whispers, the tears still falling freely.

"Come on loki, lets bring you to a bed." A voice, Steve's voice, speaks up. He flinches and hits his head on the wall behind him when Steve touches his shoulder. The man winces before helping loki to his unsteady feet and leads him out of the room and down a long corridor. They stop at the end and Steve opens the door, letting loki walk in on his own. The room was small, a door leading to the bathroom was opposite of the bed. Along with the bed the room contained a dresser and a small kitchen area. Loki ignores it all and heads to the bed, falling into it without another thought.

He's asleep before Steve leaves the room.


	18. Concern

Clint was, surprisingly, worried for loki. His boss had allowed himself to be taken by his teammates and had yet to try and escape.

Although Clint knew that the way loki acted would be instantly picked up by the avengers, he wasn't sure if they would treat loki like the victim he was.

The bond was still in place but it had become weaker, allowing Clint to fight it more and more. It gave him the minute ability to help sabotage the plans.

He wanted to contact his teammates but he wasn't sure how much they will believe him, so he came up with an even better idea. Instead of getting them to come to him, go to them. Of course it wasn't the most thought out plan, Clint wasn't fully there yet to make it perfect but it was enough.

If they attack the helicarrier to get loki back, he had to find nat and explain to her what was going on. She would understand! If he couldn't get through to her then hopefully she'll take him in.

~

The days leading up to the attack were tense and it made everyone hostile to each other. Clint's grip on his own mind was strengthening and allowed him to prepare for the plan. It still wasn't perfect but it was enough.

Loki's mind on the other end had not changed, stuck in its disorganized panic filled pain.

This was coming to an end, he could feel it. The second he got aboard the hellicarrier the others will take out the rest of his team so that loki couldn't escape while he allows himself to be taken by Nat. As long as the fog doesn't come back then the plan should go perfectly.

Loki would be in the hulk tank aboard the helicarier. They couldn't just hold him in any cell and it made the most sense!

~

Upon arriving on the helicarrier clint separated from my group and went straight to the hulk tank, ignoring the calls from his members as he rushes through the ship. When he comes across SHEILD agents he's takes them down, the fog within his mind the main reason behind it. He also did so to prevent them from stopping him from getting to loki.

He takes a sharp turn and throws himself at the door the led to the tank, falling into a roll before popping back up to his feet. He freezes when he sees the tank empty, unable to understand how someone else could have gotten to loki first.

~

Loki had been resting when the shaking of the ship woke him. He didn't like it, he didn't like it at all.

He wanted to continue to sleep, to sleep on this comfortable bed with all the pillows and blankets. With the fresh food and water and the healing bandages wrapped around his body.

Another quake caused him to sit up, the blue fog within his mind sharpening, shouting at him to get out and get back to work.

He staggered to his feet, shuffling to the door and trying the knob to see if it was locked. Unsurprisingly it was and he frowned, narrowing his eyes he used more force, still the door wouldn't budge.

With a growing sense of frustration, loki sent out a small blast of magic. Instead of just unlocking the door, he unhinged it, causing the door to fall into the hall.

He stumbles over it, hand dragging against the wall as he stumbles, allowing the pull of the scepter to lead him.

He turns a corner and watches as coulson comanda a few groups. They don't notice him at first, all rushing away to secure the air craft. When Phil finally does notice he freezes.

"Loki... what are you doing out of bed?" He questions calmly, hands palm out as he begins to approach the god.

"Let's get you back to bed." He murmurs softly. One of Loki's men turns the corner then, shouting for his attention and startling the god. He steps back, violent tremors wracking his body as the blue fog takes over his mind.

"I don't think I will." He states and with a pulse of magic is back in his armor, his staff in hand.

"Loki-" Phil is cut off with the sound of a bullet, pain following right after within his torso. He collapses to the ground, breathing heavily as he presses against his wound.

"Boss, lets go." One of Loki's men states and he smirks, turning and walking away.

~

Clint was close to panicking, unable to find loki or even Nat. He was running from hallway to hallway, only stopping when he heard someone approach.

When he feels the second shockwave of magic and hears the one, singular bullet, he sprints in that direction. What he finds causes him to freeze, both in mine and body. Phil lay in a heap on the floor, struggling as he presses against his stomach, the smell of blood thick in the air.

Clint wants to go to his friend, wants to help him, but his body won't allow it. Instead he rushes past him, still searching for loki. The shockwave of magic had helped pinpoint him.

He continues forward, tensing up and turning around to face Natasha. The fog takes over for a moment with his surprise, causing him to attack her. They fight for a while, at each other's throats. At one point, Clint loses his bow but quickly unsheathes his knife. He panics within his mind when it comes close to pressing it against her neck and is more then relieved when she bites him to make him release her.

She manages to knock his legs out from under him, causing him to slam into a railing. He groans as the fog seems to dissipate. He shakes his head, turning over to look at her.

"Tash?" Clint questions, surprised to be able to control his mouth once again. She doesn't say anything as they lock eyes.

A moment passes before she reals her fist back and sends it launching into Clint's face. After that, it's just darkness.


	19. Getting Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint punches Thor. that's it. that's the chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some parts are like the movie scene, others aren't. Some dialogue is, some isn't. The scene is honestly kinda hard to hear even with subtitles lol
> 
> also, every other week I work on my stories and will spam update all four at once on Sunday! So this week I worked on chapters, next week break, the week after that chapters :)

Clint's head hurt, like Thor had taken his hammer and went crazy. He wanted to open his eyes but they didn't seem to be cooperating at the moment, staying closed as he takes in a deep breath. His whole body was sore, aching in strange places.

Then it all came back to him, Loki taking him, Loki telling him his story, Loki getting captured, him freeing Loki and then going after nat, Nat punching him in the head and making him pass out.

With a jolt of energy Clint pries his eyes open, they sting and his vision is filled with black and white spots for a moment before his eyes focus on the one person in the room with him.

It was strange, looking at Natasha. Blues and greens and some purples dancing in his vision. Nats red hair stood out the most, making him wince and shake his head. Sweat was beading on his forehead as he struggled against his restraints. The tesseracts hold on him barley there, gripping onto his mind by a thread.

Clint could feel anguish on the other side of the connection, pain and anger and desperation and sadness. He could still feel Loki, but with each passing second the tesseracts control lessened and the explosion of colors in his vision was settling.

He continues to shake his head, grunting as he gives a yank against his wrist restraints, "Clint. You're gonna be alright." Nat says softly, watching as he continues to move on the chair.

"You know that? Is that what you know?" He questions, breathing heavily. The colors of the world around him have finally calmed down, no longer glaring and stabbing into his brain.

Nat stands up and walks to some place behind him, the sound of running water reminding the archer exactly how dry his throat and mouth is.

"How do you feel?" The red head questions, holding the cup to his lips and helping him take a sip.

"Like my brain has been pulled apart and then stuffed back together." He groans, letting his head fall back.

He lets his eyes close for a minute, taking a deep breath, before opening them again and looking over at his partner.

Nat was staring out the window of whatever room they were in on the helicarrier. When she notices him watching her she turns, raising an eyebrow at him.

"How did you -?" He questions softly.

"Cognitive recalibration," Nat starts, coming back around and sitting by Clint's legs, "I hit you really hard in the head until you passed out. Didn't know it would work exactly but it did." She murmurs and Clint licks his lips, nodding his head. She unlocks his wrists before standing up, letting clint throw his legs back over the bed.

He presses his feet against the floor, taking a deep breath.

"Bring me to the others. There is a lot we need to talk about."

~

You know, Clint really wasn't expecting his first reaction to thor would be him slamming his fist into the Asgardians jaw. The man had been smiling before hand, a reserved smile since he was unsure how to react to Clint who had been under Loki's control, but a smile nonetheless.

No one had suspected something like that to happen, the punch surprising thor so much he fell out of his chair.

Clint hisses and shakes out his knuckles, probably hurting himself more then thor but it was so very worth it for all the shit he had seen loki go through in the shadows and at the hands of his brother. Worth it for now at least, Loki had spent years ignored and one punch would never be enough

"Woah, okay!" Tony had exclaimed, the others all unsure what to do as Nat yanks him away from the blond on the ground.

"What the hell was that?" Nat snaps but clint ignores her.

"That's, for being a shitty brother." Was the first thing clint says to the god. It makes the other stay silent, confused and watching as thor slowly picked himself up. He was rubbing his jaw, eyes narrowed as he stares at clint.

"Do you know who you are dealing with son of Barton?" Thor booms, holding up his hammer. Steve jumps between them, hands out in an attempt to placate.

"This is already a very tense meeting with everything that's going on, so let's all calm down for a minute!" He exclaims, glancing over at the two spies.

"Yea lets listen to capsicle." Tony starts, glancing over at Bruce who licks his lips.

"The Captain is correct. The mortal must have been compelled by loki-"

"Oh I've been compelled by no one asshole!" Clint shouts, all the memories he had seen rushing to the surface. Although Odin was the main cause for quite a few of the worst memories, Thor was also just as prominent.

Thor looks murderous at this point and Clint glares back at the man, ignoring everything Nat is saying.

"I've seen memory after memory of Loki and his life and you played a major role in some of the worst ones along with your father." Clint spits out the word, venom dripping from his voice.

"Do not speak bad about the all father-"

"I'll speak as bad as I want to about him! What type of sick man uses his own grandchild as an everyday mule?!" Clint snaps and sees Thor hesitate. The others are confused, each showing it differently.

"What about all of the other children? Hela, fenrir and jormungandr? Those were your nephews and niece! Yet you watched them each get thrown away and what did you do for your brother? You mocked and belittled him! Along with your stupid friends!" Clint continues, thrashing slightly against nats hold.

"And when Loki's mouth was sewed shut, you joked like all the others! He was left to clean up your mess time after time yet when it was your turn to help you turned your back to him!"

"I've watched loki loose friend after friend, child after child, family after family! And you've done nothing for him!" Thor's hand dropped down to his side as he stared down at his feet.

"Oh yeah, you feel like a piece of shit now don't you? Prince Thor, the sun of Asgard and next in line for the crown! What about loki? Oh no one cares about him! He's just the shadow trickster no one could trust!"

"You do not know-" Thor tried once more but Clint cut him off with a laugh.

"I know more then you ever could asshole." He snarls, stepping back. They all stay quiet, even fury was surprised by what was said, eyebrow raised as he stared at the table.

Clint was breathing heavily now, hands clenched into fists at his side.

"What the fuck was all that." Tony states and Steve doesn't even try to reprimand him.

"You have a whole lot of explaining to do Barton." Fury sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Clint just licks his lips as he nods.


End file.
